Update at the Raiders house

My life has been in fast forward for the past week or so. I have been busy making pies and cookies and wrapping presents and getting the house ready for sale all while trying to celebrate Christmas. For the first time tonight we can take it easy and just relax. It's such a nice feeling. I told Jeff that if he needed to find me that I would be in the bathtub taking a bubble bath.

My cousin Emily is also expecting a baby in April. A baby boy to be exact. I was no less than thrilled at this news. She has been a person I so dearly looked up to growing up. Even though she was only 9 months older than me. They found out at their 20 week ultrasound that their baby boy was very special. His heart is outside his chest right now and his liver is only partially in his body. They have a website set up for anyone willing to pray for them. She is about the cutest pregnant person I have seen. http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/babyboypoeschl
I am praying nothing short of a miracle. Miracles happen everyday.

Savannah has been growing like crazy it seems. She is rolling all over the place. The tree had to make its descent out the door and in flames last night. She figured out where the tree was finally and she had no problem "helping" it shed its needles. No teeth yet but I swear something has to be going on soon. She eats regular people food now with no problem. She's really not too fond of the baby liquid food anymore. Since she learned her "chewing" motion, she prefers to munch on something.

The house went up for sale officially yesterday also. I have yet to take a picture. It's a blend of emotions seeing the sign in the yard. I know Boston will be great but I will truly miss the lifestyle I have become so accustom to. I know God is moving me out of my comfort zone for a reason. It gives me a chance to grow and broaden my horizons. Anyways there's nothing I wouldn't do for my husband.

Boston Bound

Jeff and I just received word yesterday that he got the job that he had applied for through Hormel. The locations originally that they had told us were potentials were Denver, Atlanta, Chicago, and Seattle. To my amazment, Jeff came home yesterday to tell me that we were heading to Boston. Well to be more specific its actually 45 mins sw of Boston in the town of Franklin. I couldn't be more thrilled. I have done so much research to find what appears to be a church that would suit us. I also have found potential places for us to rent and also managed to find a mommy's group that I could hook up with. It's so nice to have a computer to be able to do all this research so that a person doesn't just sit there and worry about the move so much. Jeff has found ski hills that are 30 minutes to an hour drive from Franklin. A dream come true for him. All in all, we are both seeing this as a very positive move. We will miss our family dearly but know that we are only a plane ride away. Plus you get to visit an awesome place with free lodging. What could possibly be any better!!!!

Once Upon a Time

Once upon a time there was a clean house. I smile from ear to ear for I know it won't last long. Tomorrow my cousin is coming over and bringing her two beautiful little girls. I love having a clean house though. My closets are for the most part cleaned out too. There is only a few finishing touches I would like to personally add before I would feel confident putting the house on the market. There's just something inside a woman that glows when she can walk into a house and it welcomes her. Not to messes or chaos. But to the smell of a sugar cookie candle to remind her to bake cookies before Christmas. I almost have a mental high after I see my dining room table set along with a festive wintery centerpiece.

Jeff finds out on Monday what exactly is all going to take place. We have been reading through the relocation package tonight to make sure there's no questions we would like to ask. We just want to know what we are fully getting ourselves into. We know Hormel is a great company to work for and they are good to their employees. I can't help but think that if Jeff wouldn't have gotten such a secure job that I might not have the ability to stay home with our daughter. I feel so honored to have a hardworking husband with a great job.

Savannah turned 7 months old yesterday. I cannot believe how fast time has gone so far. It feels just like yesterday that I was rocking that crying baby for hours and feeling so helpless. Colic seems like a long time ago now and so much more bearable to get the smiles and the shrieks of happiness now. She has been very active today too. Jeff was upstairs watching tv while I was doing something on the computer down in the basement. I had laid Savannah down on the floor by one end of our couch. When I came back upstairs I found her on the complete other side and on the top not the bottom. It's hard to explain but she pretty much made a 90 degree and turned herself all the way around. Sorry if there's confusion there. Anyways I asked Jeff how she got there and he of course says I don't know. Did I mention the news was on?! Well here's one last picture of a memory when Savannah was a baby. Why do they have to grow up so fast?

To-do

My head is going like a whirlwind right now. There's so many things that need to get done around the house. I feel an urge to start throwing things away and donating. I realize that when our house goes on the market that people are going to be looking thru our closets. YIKES!!! That's where I hide my mess. As much as I try to organize our master closet. Jeff seems to think that the whole top shelf belongs to him. The best was today when he came home for lunch and put his feet up on the coffee table. I looked at his feet then turned my head to take a different look. He looks down and says "am I wearing your socks?" Yes honey you are. " I was wondering why I had flowers on my black socks." Oh honey!! "That's the last time I want that to happen. How do they fit you?" Socks are sized based on the shoe size of 6-10. I guess that's the last time I will be wearing those socks now that he stretched them out.

Anyways back to my chaotic thought trend. I see Christmas decorations that I want to put up. I was struck with 5 laundry loads and that's not including the cloth diapers. Didn't I just do laundry last week? I asked myself. There is Christmas shopping for everyone yet. Oh my! I feel so overwhelmed just thinking about it. I can't even think of what to get people this year. I had Jeff's present all figured out until he said that he really wasn't that interested in what I was going to get him. Plus we will have to do shopping for Jeff's new wardrobe for sales.

You can see why I have this need to purge and clean now that you know how many things are going through my mind. That's not even including all the last minute fixes and touch ups we need to do to the house.

P.S. Jeff did get into sales!!!! We are just waiting to hear about location. Any day we should be hearing. Someone came up and shook Jeff's hand at work and congratulated him on getting into sales. Thank you Mr. Anonymous person for letting us know.

Multi-tasking

Today my mom and I were talking on the phone and somehow she brought up the fact that in the Bible it says to "mind your own business." I laughed in disbelief. She of course found it because she had highlighted the passage. So in 1 Thessalonians 4:11-12 it reads:
Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody.

So this got me thinking. Do you think that God put that in there on purpose? Do you suppose he knew that gossip and greed would only bring trouble in someone's life? That maybe, just maybe that we would not lead a happy life if our hearts were never satisfied with what we had?  It's funny how just one passage can really get the mind thinking.

Tomorrow I'm going on the annual house walk in Waseca, MN. It usually is Judy, Karen, Betty, Hillary and I. Tomorrow it will just be Judy and I. Judy is who I lived with when my parents separated. She is so much like a mom to me. Anyways Judy lost her mom when she was 8 so when she was a teenager she moved in with Betty. Karen is Betty's daughter so you can kind of say its a mother/daughter kind of thing. This year Betty's eyesight is starting to fail. She is also afraid of the ice. Karen isn't able to make it either. Hillary decided that she needed to study instead. So that leaves Judy and me. I decided that I wanted to go very badly this year because I don't know where Jeff and I will be come next year.

I will also be bringing Savannah with. I'm just going to strap her to me as we go house to house. In and out of the car will be a bit much but she's becoming so much more content and not as fussy as she once was. I feel that I can take her with and it won't be a HUGE burden. Jeff and I had discussed leaving her with him but he stated that he probably won't get as many projects done with her around. On a regular basis, I manage to clean the house, do the dishes, laundry, and make meals AND take care of her. I also yesterday sanded some of the trim down and touched up the paint. I fixed the interior doors so they close and latch. We had them hung up, just not adjusted yet. I believe that's called multi-tasking. I didn't argue with him because I want projects to get done. He then realized that "oh I won't have a car." Um welcome to my everyday. Get over it!

I have a tongue?

Today I saw an ad in the shopper for a job opening in my field. To be quite honest I was a little excited to see that but my excitement faded when I looked over at Savannah and couldn't possibly imagine leaving her. I would miss all her quirkiness and she's just starting to get really funny. Developing that personality and making people laugh. I had to quick grab the video camera to capture her quirkiness yesterday just in case she stopped doing it once daddy got home. Of course she did and when I showed the video to him, he was laughing hysterically as well.

Starring Savannah in the video, I have a tongue?

Beaba Baby

So this is on my want list for the next baby. I'm really getting sick of supplying money to the Gerber bank when I'm fully capable of making my own baby food. I saw this at William's Sonoma and told Jeff that this is a must have. All the accessories that go with it are just adorable. Aww someday you will be mine.

Back from Green Bay

Yes the Raiders household has returned from our 9 day trip to Green Bay. The ride home was a little less eventful than the ride there. We kept Savannah up as long as we could on Sunday morning so that she would take a nice long nap for the ride home. Well that lasted about 1.5 hours. She was a real trooper though listening to all her Disney and Winnie the Pooh cds. She didn't make a real fuss until 3 hours into the trip. Luckily La Crosse was where we were planning on stopping and resting for a couple hours to give her a break from the car. We left at 1:15 and got home at 8. It was a great day for a drive home too.

Thanksgiving was so much fun this year. It's always fun to eat and eat and eat to your hearts content. There's not many days out of the year that you can really get away with that. Plus our family has so much to be thankful for this year. Here's the short list:
Savannah, Jeff's interview on Wednesday, providing us with a economical wise car, surviving parenthood thus far, having a place to go to for the holidays, being able to be a stay-at-home mom

Friday I did the Black Friday thing. It's really not my favorite day to shop. I would much rather jump over people on the day after Christmas for all the Christmas stuff that's 50% off. That's how I have accumulated a majority of my stuff. I take mental note of certain things I want in the Christmas aisle and aim to get them when they are at a more reasonable price. I did end up nabbing some items that I needed on Black Friday. I can never have enough white long sleeve shirts. They seem to get stained or just plain worn out. I got one at Old Navy for $5. I also bought Savannah a toy at Kohls for 50% for the ride home. A new toy to play with I thought might do the trick but I think she just enjoyed looking out the window for most of the ride.

Saturday Jeff and I went to Appleton shopping for the perfect dress for the Hormel Prom ahem, I mean the Hormel Christmas Party. Pictures to come but Jeff and I both thought it was the perfect dress.

Sunday: Savannah was baptized at Grandma and Grandpa Raiders church. We wanted to do it at a time when the Great Grandparents could also be there for it. It was a very special day. It was the day that Jeff and I stood in front of a congregation and said that we will be raising our daughter in a christian lifestyle. She just wanted to play with the dress. She was so squirmy that day that it was like holding onto a bar of soap. The dress was so slippery and that didn't make it any easier.

So when hopping on the scale upon coming home from GB, I made a said discovery that I didn't meet my weight goal of gaining 10 lbs. So there's still Christmas coming. Most people would think that being thin is something that every woman strives to be. Well I'm going to get a little personal and tell you that its not what its cracked up to be. People make comments about how thin you are and I'm the type of person that I don't know what to say after they make a comment. I'm not a person to be the certain of attention. I don't like attention drawn at me. I like to look good but not enough to draw all the attention on me. Just enough to make myself feel good. I will admit that I don't like the way I look. What woman does though. I know that God made me in his image but I wish he would though a little fat in desirable locations. Even my mother-in-law made the comment as I sat down after I just got done eating supper with a bag of potato chips and dip, how do you stay so thin and eat so much. Thank you! My point exactly. I'm not striving to be "thin". I don't have bulimia or anorexia. I'm really sick of the comments of "you need to eat something" or the sarcastic "your the mom". I eat! Jeff actually gets frustrated at times because I eat so much and when he eats as much as I do, he gains weight.

Onto my next struggle. I'm really caught between a rock and a hard place on this one. It's been this way for a while now. I think it started when I lost my job or else shortly there after. Anyways, Jeff wants me to go to bed with him every night. I try my best to do whats pleasing to him because really he doesn't ask for a lot. When he does ask for something he usually has a good reason behind it. I need my "me" time before going to bed. I need to have time to fold laundry that I didn't get to or simply watch a show without a little one screeching in the background. It's a time when I don't have Jeff calling my name to have me help him with something. We have tried to make a compromise where I will go to bed but get up and do my things that I want to once he's asleep. That didn't last very long because the sign of an argument he throws in my face "but you leave me when I fall asleep." How did I know that would come to bite me?! We need to figure out some kind of way to fix this before we have another child. I will eventually NEED that time of having no babies crawling on me or demanding my attention. Some time to just unwind and relax my mind so I don't go crazy. It's not that I don't want to sleep next to him when he goes to bed but I just need some sanity too. He tells me that I need my sleep and that's why I should go to bed. He's right but I don't fall asleep as easily as he does. Maybe it will get better when he doesn't have to wake up at 5am anymore and gets a position with a little more flexibility. Until then...let the battle continue.

Here's to hoping for another good nights rest.

Vacation Part 2

I can't believe it's already Wednesday. This vacation is going by way too fast. But what vacation doesn't!? Jeff and I are getting some much needed family time together. On Monday I didn't change a single diaper. That has never happened in the past 6 1/2 months. I realized that I hadn't changed one once I got to bed. Oh it's so nice to have helpers.

Monday Jeff and his dad worked on getting trains up. His dad has a train set he sets up every year with Department 56 houses. It was a train set passed down to him. A family tradition. Savannah and I stayed upstairs and just relaxed. So far my vacation has not been about taking naps or sleeping in. Actually it's quite the contrary. I have not slept past 7am this whole vacation yet. Savannah has insisted on getting up earlier than ever. And really isn't in the mood to take naps either. There's just so much going on. She doesn't want to miss anything.

Yesterday we met with Pastor Don to discuss the Baptism that's going to take place on Sunday. Jeff and I view it as a time when we stand up in front of everyone and say we will be raising this child as a child of God. I know everyone has their own interpretation of what baptism means to them. That's just how Jeff and I view it.

Last night as I was feeding Savannah her supper she fell asleep. I put her spoon in her food and put it up to her mouth to see her eyes close. Ok, sometimes your just too tired from playing and deciding your not going to take a nap that you have to crash. You can't party all day long.

Vacation Part 1

I had not been feeling well the past week so on Thursday night we decided that we would skip going to the cities and just drive to Green Bay on Saturday morning. I started feeling somewhat better on Friday and got laundry done so figured that we would just head out after Jeff got off work. The first half of the drive was a breeze. Savannah slept the whole way so we stopped for supper in Tomah to give her a break from her car seat. When we got back in the car to start going for the rest of the journey, Savannah was very fussy in the backseat. Nothing seemed to soothe her. I would sing (poor Jeff) and that would take care of the problem for a little bit. (I told Jeff that we need a kids song cd very badly so that he wouldn't need to hear me sing off key the whole rest of the way). I needed a late night snack by the time we got to Green Bay so we stopped at a grocery store. I decided to stay in the car with Savannah. I stretched myself back to see her in her rear facing car seat to discover that she had puke all over the front of her. How long had she been riding with that? Poor girl. I know it couldn't have been more than an hour because I had gotten in the backseat with her for a while until she fell asleep again at 9 when we only had another hour and a half left of the drive.

We finally reached destination Gma and Gpa's house. I quickly got her out of the car and into some fresh air. She decided to throw up one more time before I put her in the bathtub to calm her nerves down and clean that smell off of her. When attempting to put her to sleep she wouldn't stop squirming. I know have learned that that's a signal I really should know by now. I picked her up from her pack n' play only to have her throw up once more on my clean pajamas. Well so much for packing enough clothes to get us through a few days before I would have to do laundry again. I don't know why she keeps getting sick on these road trips. Is it from riding in the car backwards? Is is from her anxiety of being stuck, strapped down for hours on end? (Anders and Lynsee, aren't you glad we weren't at your house now!) 

We have had a wonderful time so far. We have went shopping and Grandma has spoiled Savannah so much. Savannah I think is enjoying all the affections of love showering on her. All the attention goes right to Savannah. It's such a blessing to have a daughter and such wonderful family to share these moments with. Even though I have a car seat to scrub down now which I'm sure will not be the last time I need to do such a thing, I would not trade her for the world. There's so much more vacation time left and the 300 lb person inside of me cannot wait to eat a tasty meal on Thanksgiving.

So far I have gotten to eat:
cordon bleu
red velvet cheesecake
loaded fries
Papa Johns pizza

YUM!!!!!!

Just out of reach

Savannah has started this new trend of wanting the toy that is farthest away from her. She will have every ring off her pyramid of rings but the blue one that got away is the one that she wants. Sometimes her need to have the one that's farthest away has some consequences such as falling forward for the first time. As I sat on the couch watching her today I realized that this is just another stage in her development. She is amazed at the fact that she can stand with mommy's help. It's a child's prerogative to always been wanting something that's out of reach. Once they learn how to roll, that's fun for a while until they have to find something else that will entertain them just as much.

Then it got me thinking even more. Isn't that the way we are all wired!? We all want to reach for something. We all have a goal in mind and just sometimes that goal is slightly out of reach. We lean over to try to grab it but we can only feel a glimpse of it. So we sit back up and try once more until we finally get it within reach. We can learn a lot through a small child. Never to give up on that goal for someday either someone will come and hand it to you or you will finally figure out a way to reach it yourself.

Just one of "those" days

Savannah's cold is finally letting up I feel. I woke up to her smiling and kicking her legs this morning. A big sigh of relief I felt coming on. We sat and watched Regis and Kelly this morning while snuggling on the couch. It was so nice to be able to snuggle on a chilly morning. I went about my normal morning routine of checking email and getting a shower. It soon came to be Savannah's morning nap time. I could not get her to stop fussing. I decided that she must just not be hungry. She must just want to lay down. I noticed when I laid her down that when she normally props both her hands behind her head and finds a comfy spot in the pillow, she only put her right hand behind her head and left the otherside along her side. Well this was odd. I picked up the arm but she was not a fan of that idea. I felt a limp, lethargic arm. I began to panic in my mind thinking of what could have happened. How did I just notice this? Has it been like this all morning? Did she use her left arm yesterday? Ahh yesterday. I recalled an incident when she had fallen backgrounds after sitting up. I went to pick her back up with only one hand. ( I know I shouldn't have done that.) I've done it before with no problem. I had something else in my hand and just wanted to quickly sit her back up. I felt this awful mom feeling come over me. It just so happened that her 6 month well child appointment was today so I thought what a perfect time for something to go wrong. I spent the rest of my day in worry and dismay at the fact that something like this had happened. The doctor reassured me that it was very common and that it could happen again but now we know what to do when it does happen. It was a very good, teachable moment. I realize that as a first time parent I'm going to make mistakes. This is probably not the first one that I'm going to make but at least this one was fairly easy to fix. Just a little prick to my heart to show me just how much I love my daughter and how much I don't want anything bad to happen to her. If I had a choice and knew that she wouldn't be stared at, I would wrap her in bubble wrap so that she would be protected always. Now I know that I can't do such a thing so I will just have to be extra careful next time but also realize that kids are going to get hurt.

Her well child went very well. She is in the 99 percentile of pretty much everything. Doctor was very pleased to see how well developed she is. That makes for some pretty proud parents.

Wisconsin Dells

This weekend Jeff, Savannah, and I all got loaded into the car and went on a 3 hour drive. Destination: Wisconsin Dells. The plan was to surprise Jeff's mom for her 50th birthday. She just so happened to have called me on Friday night asking me what our weather was doing down here. I remained nonchalant on the phone but inside I was bursting to tell her the exciting news. I asked her what she had planned for the weekend. She replied with a list of "to do" items that she had lined up before Thanksgiving. I got off the phone and told Jeff "your dad is going to have a hard time getting your mom out of the house this weekend. She has a list."

Upon arriving at Wisconsin Dells at the cabin that was rented for us to stay at for the weekend Jeff's mom was definitely surprised. His dad on the other hand had to drive a person 2.5 hours that was getting more agitated that her list was not getting done. That was until she saw all of us waiting for her on the end of her road trip. What a surprise!! Whewww I for once didn't spoil the surprise. I am quite proud of myself.

We went out for lunch at Famous Dave's where Savannah decided to share more of herself with me than I had planned. She has had a cold the last couple days. Well at the restaurant she started choking on her phlegm and ended up throwing up all over. My reaction was to stick my hands out to catch it but my hands weren't big enough when she kept going. I felt so bad for the waiter. I had one of those you know your a mom when...you catch your child's puke but just go wash your hands and return to the table to finish your meal.  Savannah slept most of the weekend. Her cold really did her in along with her teething. I can't wait till those teeth pop through. She is so miserable. For instance, she took an hour nap on Grandma's chest today, 2 hour nap at the water park, 3 hour nap on the way home, and oh by the way she is taking another nap right now. Poor little girl.

Wisconsin Dells just really hit the spot this weekend. It was so nice to just spend time as a family. No work. No interruptions. No one but family. It was something that Jeff and I had been missing out on for the past month. Jeff put his arm around me and says it feels like we haven't spent time together for a month. Um thats because that's how long its been. Between working weekends, helping dad roof his house, deer hunting, and more work its just taken up a lot of "our" time. Savannah wasn't as excited about the water as I wanted her to be. I can't blame her though. She will like it next time when she's not so sick. I think we may take her to a waterpark in Green Bay when we are there next week. I haven't gotten my satisfacation of seeing her splashing in the water yet with her new swim suit. I just happened to have it overnighted to make sure she had one for the waterpark. All in all it was so nice to get away for a weekend. I can't wait till next week when we get to do it longer. It always goes by way too fast.

6 years old once again

Remember when you were 6 and anything could be cured with a kiss. All it took was a spill on your bike and mom would rush over to hug and kiss all the pain away as tears fell on her shoulder. Now our adult selves hide our tears in hopes that no one will know we are in pain. At 6 no one cared if you had one pink sock on and one green sock on. In fact you were probably considered stylish by your best friend in the sandbox. Now we are constantly aware of how we look to get the other person to notice us. When we were 6 every boy had cooties and the only friends you wanted were girls. Now we ditch our friends to hang out with a potential boyfriend/fiancee/husband. At 6 anything you made was pretty. All your drawings were works of art and considered the next Monet. Now we constantly change the way we draw or write to make sure that it doesn't look stupid. At 6 when we didn't know how to say words it was considered cute. Try pronouncing a word wrong when your an adult and are considered to have a low IQ. When we were 6 all the clothes we put on looked fabulous. Now we sit and pick apart our body. We think our hips are too big, boobs are too small, and butt is too big. We are always telling ourselves if we lost 10 lbs things would look better.

To conclude lets get back to our 6 year old selves. Tons of imagination, happiness, and excitement about life. Basically our 6 year old selves would know that the sky is the limit. And thats the truth. Nothing is impossible when we set our minds to it and know that we are awesome people no matter what.

Regrets

It is now deer hunting season. I should count my blessings and remember that it is only one week out of the year but for some reason I dread this time. And I am only on the second year of it. I have the rest of my life to look forward to "this time of year." I have established boundaries to this new found hobby though. The deer will not be hanging in my yard (umm gross), I will not eat the meat (gross again), and I don't want to hear about the details of what the inside of the deer looked like (every woman is agreeing with me now...GROSS). He just tells me I need to be more supportive (roll of eyes). I thought letting him purchase the gun was enough support on my end. I did however make him a warmer vest, which I will be improving upon next year, and I made him a blanket because I can't have my Prince Charming getting cold.

I'm really regretting letting him have this hobby. It's one more expense, its one more thing that takes time away from each other, and I just don't like the idea of shooting a deer. The other part of me is saying that he needs his time to be outside and be with the guys. Work demands so much of his attention that it's hard not to get a little jealous especially when you are at home and just waiting for him to come home. Waiting for your best friend to spend time with you and talk to you. It's only natural to get jealous when they take time away from the one you love.

Jeff has his interview on December 1st. It's becoming more and more real the closer it gets. Praying for a positive change!

The Joneses

I haven't been on lately because the best thing to arrive to Austin finally opened its doors. Oh yes!! Jo Ann Fabrics is officially open for business as of last Friday. Lets just say, I have made a few trips there since they have opened. Just trying to stimulate the economy. Actually I just am in desperate need of winter craft projects. Right now I am working on recovering Savannah's crib bumper and my next project is to make the rest of her bedding once I get back there tomorrow.

The Christmas season is upon us which means that I get to hear that dreaded question... what do you want for Christmas? When I lost my job it was hard at first because we were so used to living a lifestyle of buying what we wanted and taking many trips up to the cities. We had a little more money to throw around plus I feel that we were getting out of that broke college student lifestyle. We had our first jobs and we wanted to spend money more freely. Since losing my job and a 1/3 of our household income, we have had to scale down somewhat our wants. Don't get me wrong. We still probably spend more than we should but that's beside the point. I have trained my brain to be content with what we have. It may be a struggle to have one car but it's what we feel comfortable affording. We may not live in the nicest house but its a roof over our heads and its filled with love. I hate when that question comes around. I have a really hard time sitting down and thinking about my own wants. I know that Jeff wants hunting stuff or skiing or tools. Savannah I know would love to have more toys to play with and I've been eyeing this bubble making machine for the bathtub because every fish needs bubbles. But then comes me. What do I want? I was so relieved when Jeff told me tonight, don't worry I have plenty of ideas for you. Well I'm glad someone knows what I want because I sure don't.

I received a phone call from my mom the other day. She was all upset because of how one of her siblings decided to spend their inheritance from Grandma passing away. Oh I hate inheritance so much. I think my goal in life is to die with all my money spent. Someone is always mad or feels they didn't get their fair share. But that's just my little rant. Anyways, my mom decided to buy herself a car (very legit in my eyes) and she bought Savannah a high chair (something we desperately needed and she knew we needed). I was more than happy with the gift she willingly bought Savannah. She told me she wanted to spoil her granddaughter. I honestly expected her just to use the money to live on. I wasn't expecting anything from her. Her sibling decided to give each of her children $500. She was crying because she was afraid that I would hear that and be disappointed with her because she didn't do the same. I told her honestly that I didn't care and that I wasn't expecting anything in the first place. I kept telling her over and over that you can't compare yourself to the Joneses. Just because another person is doing something else doesn't mean they have a better lifestyle than you. The tenth commandment is:
You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor’s.”
There's a reason why God made that a commandment. If you compare yourself to your neighbor, you will never be satisfied. You will live a very unhappy lifestyle.

The best way to live is not to expect anything. One of the best gifts is when someone does something for you and you weren't even expecting it. It makes your heart grow so much deeper and feel so much more appreciation towards that person. It makes you want to take care of those things because they mean more to you.

Miss Independent

I am only slightly saddened to see my little girl growing up so fast. She is starting to explore her world more and want to do everything that mommy and daddy are doing.  I almost started tearing up tonight as I knew she was ready to take a bath without mommy in the tub for once. Grandma gave her a bath on Sunday morning all by herself but this time it was my turn. Maybe having Jeff working late tonight and being there all by myself made me realize what was really happening in front of me. She is really starting to grow up. She's not that colic infant that we brought home from the hospital. As much as I dreaded 6:30pm when she would break into her nonstop crying for the next hour or so, I really miss that. She is developing her own personality each day. It really is a blessing to be able to watch her grow up.

Tonight she threw a fit because Jeff and I were eating supper and she was not. This is the first time she has ever done this. She kept leaning her mouth in towards me and opening it wide. Then when it would go to my mouth instead of hers she would start fussing. I had to think really child, I just fed you. I fear what is to come when she really starts developing a personality. I have a feeling I will be chasing her around the store or getting her from underneath the clothes racks. She is going to be just like her mommy was as a child. Lord have mercy.

Last night I decided to try the cry it out method. She has decided to wake up every 2-3 hours once again. Right when I think I have her only waking up once or twice and I think that I have finally gotten over that hurdle she starts in again. I decided to ignore her once she woke up at 2:30. 45 mins later....still crying. I tried her pacifier, her mobile, and rubbing her head gently while she laid in her crib. No relief. Finally I got up to nurse her so that we could both get some sleep finally. I don't mind waking up at 12:30 or 5:30 but that in between is just a hard one to do for me. That's the good sleep :)I know that someday she will be ready to sleep through the night. Just now is not one of those times. Here's to hoping for a restful night tonight.

Family Ties

There's something almost magical about having family around. Jeff and I had his parents visit us this weekend for Jeff's birthday. Grandma and Grandpa got to spend tons of time playing and rocking Savannah now that shes getting to the age where shes more fun. When family is around you really don't care if your house is clean or whats going on in the rest of the world. You want to enjoy every minute that your with the ones you love. Jeff had a wonderful birthday. He does every year though. Last year we went to Green Bay and ate at the Melting Pot. This year he celebrated his 25th birthday by going out to eat at a family owned BBQ place of his choice. He went shopping at the stores that he wanted to go to aka Fleet Farm :) We then went to a winery in Rochester and got to taste test wines. Not my favorite thing to do but he enjoys doing it.

We of course tried to hand out Halloween candy this year and not very many people showed up. I was a little disappointed but hey more candy for me!!! Good thing I've been eating it for the past 3 weeks.

Now it's off to catch up on all the things that got put to the wayside while we spent a lovely fall weekend with family. By the way Savannah is laying on the floor sleeping as I write. I think Grandma and Grandpa wore her out a little this weekend.

New Adventures Ahead

In approximately 3 months (give or take) our lives will drastically change. We will not be living in Minnesota anymore. We won't be close to family. It will be just the three of us. Many family members have asked how I feel about the move seeing that I have never lived farther than 2 hours away from family. I think it will be a good change. It's not like we will never be coming back to the life that I've always known. It will really strengthen our marriage and family bonds because we only have each other to lean on.

Jeff will be transferring into Food Service Sales. Me being the wife, a.k.a cheerleader, wants nothing more than to make my husband happy. He wants to feel challenged and doing something that he's passionate about. Quality Control is a job that he can do and can do well. It's not his passion in life. He wants to sell Hormel to people and let people fall in love with the company. I really think that he feels that he is merely just fixing peoples mistakes all day long. It's been a great job for him and he has really gotten to know Hormel as a company so thoroughly that he wants to share that knowledge with other people.

I am not attached to my home in the least bit. When we moved here I knew that it was only a temporary move. When I'm painting or fixing something up nice I just tell myself some person is really going to enjoy this I hope. We will most likely have to downsize for about 6 months and store or sell some of our furniture. I know that the sacrifices we make right now will pay off in the long run. It's all just stuff anyways. I will keep you updated about where we will be moving to. We have been told of 4 potential spots but they haven't narrowed it down to one yet. It's going to be Atlanta, Chicago, Denver, or Seattle. Jeff and I are secretly hoping for Denver but we shall see. Denver will bring back the personalities that we once had. The love for outdoors that we have been missing so much since living in southern MN. Dad's secretly hoping for Denver too. He said he's planning his vacation.

Bittersweet

Tomorrow will be my last day with having 2 kids in the house. I have been babysitting Liam, who is one, for the past 2 1/2 months. It was only on a temporary basis because starting November 1st he goes to daycare. Before Liam came along I really thought that I would be able to handle two children. I love having kids around and love all the chaos of life. I dream of having a big family. Although I went to college, that always seemed like a backup plan for me. I'm so fortunate to have a husband with a good job and understands the importance of having a parent at home with Savannah.

I believe God had a reason for sending me Liam. He taught me that I'm not ready for two children yet. I really enjoy spending time with my daughter and do not want to deprive her of her deserved attention. By the time Liam goes home for the day I'm exhausted. He is such a joy to have in our household. Savannah loves playing with him and feeling his hair. (someday she will grow more hair) They love talking back and forth to each other. It's so precious. But I know that going through colic and trying to establish a routine again with a newborn is something I'm not ready to take up. Savannah is a very happy baby now. Well not right now as she is teething and suffering from a pretty good case of diaper rash due to her teething. But for the most part she is a happy baby. She sits up now and plays with her toys. While giving her a bath last night I realized she was even starting to sit up in the tub alone now. It will be time for daddy to give her baths and enjoy that bonding that I have enjoyed so thoroughly since giving birth.

Well sounds like naptime is over. Onto my next adventure. :)

Mmmmm Mmmmm

Lately I have really been working hard on getting Savannah to say the word momma. She's been going around lately with her lower lip tucked on her bottom gums and making a humming noise. I can only hope that this will someday soon turn into momma. We have also been working on our sitting up skills and rolling over. I get on the floor and try to show her how to roll over. You know the old "monkey see, monkey do" trick. So far with all this training all that I have to show for it is a daughter that likes to tease me. She rolls over her top half but the lower half just won't follow. I have a daughter that looks like a weeble instead of sitting up and someone who just mmmm's. I know that someday it will all click but as of right now were still working on it.

Leaves

Yesterday we took Savannah outside to take pictures. I think it took more time to scoop leaves out of her mouth than to take the pictures. Jeff kept saying "the suns going to go down, hurry up." My response was "but shes got leaves in her mouth". All in all it was a fun time taking pictures. We had to take them yesterday because we got her knitted winter hat in the mail. I had found a hat that I liked on Etsy.com but just couldn't pull myself to spend $25 plus shipping on it. I knew that Jeff's mom knitted so I forwarded her the picture and let her try to make something similar. Taadaa!!! I love the hat. Its nice and fluffy and warm. AND it didn't cost $30.

Now all I need is the mittens to match. That's Grandma's next attempt :)

Maybe she's a fish

It never ceases to amaze me that whenever Savannah is in a crabby mood all I have to do it take her in the bathroom and lay her on the floor. You would think that she just won the lottery. She's singing praises to me and squealing with delight. She's kicking like crazy and can hardly hold in her enthusiasm. The water gets turned on and her eyes begin to get bigger as I take off her onesie. Oh she smiles with delight, its just what I was hoping for.

This is in fact the only way we made it through colic. We knew when she was about to get her fussy time and would remember to get all the bath stuff ready. It was our only saving grace. I wasn't about to drive around for hours waiting for her to calm down. Bathtub seemed to work.

She gets in the tub and her excitement is finally unleashed as she splashes around for 15 minutes. After each big splash she looks at me for what my reaction will be. The bigger my reaction the bigger she was attempt to splash the next time. I don't know how I'm going to get her out of the tub when she is finally able to talk. Swimming may be in her future. :)

Road Trip

Jeff just called to inform me that he got the whole week of Thanksgiving off. Finally his 70-80 work weeks for the past month are starting to pay off. Someone I believe is seeing our sacrifice and knowing that we need family time together desperately. Savannah will be 6 1/2 months old by then so I'm sure that she will do spectacular on this road trip of ours.

Right when he told me about it, I started thinking about all the times I would need to pack. This is when my over organizational skills want to take charge. Most of the time I put them aside and deal with the everyday demands of life instead. I am truly an organizational freak at heart but just don't always have the time to do it. You know that commercial with the post-it labels, I glow from ear to ear when I see that commercial. I love the idea of totes all stacked neatly with everything labeled. That way when Jeff asks me where something is, I can proudly tell him EXACTLY where it is. I also love the idea of baskets that contain everything neatly on the shelf. This is why I just love watching HGTV when they stage houses. I love the idea of a house that doesn't look lived in. Hopefully I will get over that fantasy when I have more kids and more demands in life.

Anyways I start thinking about the pack n' play, all the outfits that Savannah will need, and how we are going to have one full car. And that's just for her! I thought about how much laundry I will have to do the days leading up to it and how much laundry I will have once we come back. Then I smiled thinking 'I'm sure glad that I don't have a job.' We have this ability to just travel without worrying if I will be able to get off too. Or the amount of time it would take me to complete the enormous pile of laundry that will accumulate after a week and a half gone. Can you tell I'm a little excited about a much needed family roadtrip!!!!!

Finding meaning

I have really struggled with trying to find something special about myself since I lost my job. I always had something in my life that defined who I was. I had friends through high school that really helped me get through a not so normal teenage life. I went to college and became so busy with keeping up with school and 2 jobs and a social life that I never had time to really "think" about things. My last semester of college I was very busy planning a wedding and graduation that I was on my little high in life. I got married and soon after that the high started to wear off. Reality set in. I was no longer this independent young woman. I was tied down in a small town with no job. It brought new meaning to the phrase "ball and chain." I settled into desperation to find a job. Jeff and I fought all the time. It was the time when we were learning to live with each other. It was ridiculous things we fought about such as "why must you drink so loudly?" "those clothes are no where near the clothes basket" "do you have to leave the toilet seat up EVERYTIME!" Such stupid things you fight about when you first get married.

I finally found a job that was only minutes from the house. I was ecstatic to say the least. I finally found my dream job. I was for the first time salaried!!! I didn't know what I wanted to do with my first paycheck. I wanted to do something big because I worked hard and was paid well for my accomplishments. We decided on buying our dream car. I wanted a trailblazer and Jeff wanted a Subaru. We compromised on a Subaru Tribeca. I was so proud to be driving this new car. No more college car days. I was a real adult, with a real job. 5 months later that dream came to a screeching halt. Before I left work on Monday my boss had asked if I had time to meet with her in the morning. The way she said it just made my stomach drop. For some reason we just know when something bad is going to happen. Jeff and I went to meet with our builder because we were planning on building a house. Since my dad works for a lumber company we were going to get some great deals. I expressed to Jeff how worried I was about Tuesday morning. I tossed and turned all night. Then it happened. I walked into her office and there sat not only her but her boss. I was thinking in my head what could have I done. I have kept things confidential, I have done my job to the highest of my ability. I can't be in trouble I kept thinking. Or am I. They went on to say that I had done a fantastic job but that they had some budget cuts which meant my job was cut. My world just crashed all around me. I had to call Jeff up and tell him that we won't be able to build our house anymore because I didn't have my job anymore. Even writing this still brings tears to my eyes. In just 5 months, I went from being on top of the world to feeling like I had let our relationship down.

I had a hard time getting out of bed each morning. I kept thinking of the things that I would be doing if I were working. I kept thinking about all the things that I had left half finished and all the relationships that just abruptly stopped. I was not allowed to send out a letter or even contact them to have closer. It's still awkward to walk around Austin and see people. They all have their opinions of me. I worked so hard to build this trust up with them. It's like living with an ex-husband. Just so awkward.

I finally got used to being at home and doing things around the house instead. My new label was homemaker. Didn't think after 6 years of college that that would ever be my label. Now I have a new label. I feel now as though thats all I am. I know this is my purpose in life right now and am content with raising my daughter and taking care of my husband. I feel as though there is nothing special about me. I wear jeans and a t-shirt most days. I clean up spit up and change diapers. I somehow suppose to be in this loving dovy mode when Jeff comes home but its so hard to muster the strength. I wish I had something that would make me feel special again. I don't think that I want a job right now because I love being able to watch Savannah grow up. I don't want to miss out on all her firsts. How do stay at home moms keep themselves from feeling this way? I am still on the venture to figure this one out.

TV is my new enemy

What is it about the television? Now that Savannah is getting a little older and not needing to nurse as much or as often I still find myself needing to have the television on. I know all the shows that are going to be on and my favorite episodes to watch. I finally have made it my new goal to only watch a 2 shows in the morning and my 2 favorite in the afternoon. I love having the background noise on though especially when all there would be is dead silence if it wasn't on. But then I think to myself, whats so bad about that?! In a couple more years I will be begging for peace and quiet. I should enjoy while I have it right? I decided to whip out my cd collection and start playing some cds. My house needs a desperate cleaning job and is being neglected by either kids or the television. So far yesterday, I redecorated my living room and super duper cleaned it. I even got underneath the couch. Can I say YUCK!! I hate dirt. I have to admit that I love the attention when someone walks into my house and says WOW you have a clean house. How do you keep it so clean? It's my moment to shine as a stay at home mom. Well off to super duper clean the rest of the upstairs before I make my big tackle for the basement.

Naps!

I am starting to realize that I may never get more than merely "naps" at night. I wake up every 2 hours now from either Savannah or Jeff. Getting up in the middle of the night is so normal to me now that I want to call people when I'm up because I figure that they are probably up too. (This is why I wanted Savannah in bed with me as long as possible.) I heard her at about 2:10am and went in to let her know that I loved her and that she needed to try going back to sleep. I went back to bed to listen to her cry then whimper for the next 5 mins. Went back in there to let her know once again that I still loved her and that I didn't forget about her. This went on for 20 mins. I finally gave up as her crying wasn't subsiding. I rocked her in her chair and patted her back. I was trying to do anything not to give her the one thing I know would do the trick. Finally after a half hour of whining. I nursed her where 3 mins later she fell asleep. Repeat an hour later. Got up at 5:10 to bring Jeff to work so I could have the car to run errands in the morning. Back home to catch another couple hours of sleep. Maybe I will catch a nap this afternoon.

I received an email today that told me Savannah was 22 weeks old. I had to look twice because I was sure they had the wrong email address or had miscalculated. There is no way that my baby could be that old already. If I was pregnant right now, I would be complaining about how I was only half way through and how miserable I am. 5 months old! She now smiles at anybody who gives her attention which makes me feel so much better when people say oh what a happy baby. Finally!! After 4 months of fussiness.

 Jeff and I have almost been married for 2 years now too. In a few months we will celebrate our 2 year anniversary together. I can't believe its been that long already. Meeting him has changed a lot about myself. I am truly a shopaholic in rehab I feel. I learned a lot of things from my mom. Some things are good and other ones not so good. One bad trait I picked up is that I shop when I'm sad or feel not content with life. Its a temporary fix I realize. It will always be something that I will have to work on. I mean just because someone goes to rehab for alcoholism doesn't mean they're cured for life. I like looking at all the new and shining things. Especially now that I have discovered Gymboree, I am seriously in trouble. Who does not just adore dressing their little girl up?!! I'm probably not the only one with this addiction. I'm glad that Jeff challenges me not to buy everything. It makes me a better person and I love looking at the savings account and seeing it grow. I am not a very good person at living paycheck to paycheck and enjoy knowing that we have a buffer. It helps me not to be so stressed. It however does not help my shopping addiction when I walk into a children's clothing store :) Just another challenge I will have to work on.

Motherhood is anything but simple

Why blog? Why not just share what you have to say on the phone to a person or talk in person? I think every mother needs to have someplace to escape and get all her feelings out. As a stay at home mom the only person I generally talk to is my mom which used to be every day and has now dropped down to about twice a week. Savannah talks to me but all I can generally understand is her excitement that she is standing!! Ok it may be supported standing but she thinks shes pretty cool.

No matter what book you read or story you hear about being a mom you mine as well throw it out the window. You truly don't understand the sheer joy, frustration, and worry of being a parent until that little one is growing in your womb. I was convinced that I would not be one of those mothers who worried nonstop or let my baby sleep in my bed whenever she wanted to. Well.... then I got pregnant. I started having issues with spotting which is common I know in the first trimester. You say its common until its happening to you and all you can do is lay there and worry about miscarrying. You would stand on  your head to keep that little one safe and its heart pumping. Second trimester was more fun than the first. Knowing that it was finally revealed a gender made the baby aisle just more fun. Third trimester was when high blood pressure hit. When the doctor says don't you dare lift a finger until I say you can. Its like "thanks! I'm not going to worry or anthing." Then it happened, I gave birth to a little girl on May 8th at 3:10. I was about the luckiest girl in the world. I had a great husband and now one of the best gifts to share with him.  

Being a stay at home mom has its challenges. Due to financial burdens, I said good bye to the car I loved and became a one car family. I know its a sacrifice we have to make but it still was a sad day. I sure I will cry when I get stuck in the snow and can't get out with our new car. I may even cry today when I need to run errands and can't because Jeff has the car at work and hasn't been coming home during the day so I either bring him to work in the morning or suffer all day with no car. I've been kicking myself all day because I should have just gotten the milk yesterday on my way home but forget. I wanted to make bread or at least make a decent meal but everything in my cupboard has that dreaded ingredient...MILK! Grrr. I have another 2 hours to go until daddy comes home then I can escape the 4 walls I call a house and drive. But you know, I would rather live in a small house, be a one car family, and give up all my luxuries to be a stay at home mom. To watch your child grow is the most precious gift.