Today is Carson's due date. We have been on our own now for a week. Really? Has it been a week already since the in-laws packed up and headed home? We are doing great with handling 2 kids. Savannah hasn't shown any jealousy yet. The days are running pretty smoothly with having Carson attached at my hip and Savannah attempting to open the fridge, cupboards, and dishwasher. I swear that child is half monkey and she will soon have a sidekick to copy everything she does. (insert happy dance here) My days are going so well with having 2 that I ventured out for our first grocery shopping trip. It required a baby carrier, fruit snacks, and a smile as people looked at us.
Carson has hit the stage of "don't you dare put me down. I'm warning you. I may just scream if you do." Nevertheless, he does get put down. He does scream. And we all survive. He has been sleeping on my chest or cradled in my arms since coming home from the hospital. Yes you can all gasp at the horrible mom I am for co-sleeping with my child. Believe its best for everyone right now that one way or another mommy sleeps. Savannah slept on my chest for the first 3 weeks then moved to just sleeping next to me. When she started rolling, she got moved into the pack n play next to our bed. She eventually made it to sleeping in her crib. It just took baby steps.
Savannah is very much into attempting to get herself dressed. The only drawer she likes to get into besides her shoes is the pajama drawer. Every morning I pick up a dozen pairs of pajamas. She of course can never fully get them on so she figures they are broken and reaches for another pair. Such a big helper. She gets more and more enjoyable everyday! I love my family of 4 and wouldn't trade this time for anything.
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Friday, February 24, 2012
One Year
It's hard to believe that its been one year since we moved away from MN. I have only been homesick one other time. That was when Savannah turned 10 months old and I realized that none of the family was going to be at her 1st birthday. Wow 10 months old! That seems like just yesterday and I was still carrying a 30 lb baby on my hip. Now she's walking and talking (only a language she can understand for the most part) up a storm. It makes me feel bad that my family isn't around to watch Carson grow up now. Mommy and daddy and the "family" we have met through our journey will love on Carson and Savannah. I am so glad that Jeff is finally settled into a position of comfort in the company. He is a much happier husband and dad for the changes we've made. I am looking forward to the day when our journey slows down and we return to the old stomping grounds of Austin, MN.When I can rekindle all those friendships I left behind that were so precious to me. Until then I will enjoy the ride and take each new place as a new adventure.
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Feelings
I am writing this in hopes that someone has some words of encouragement or has felt the same way I have. I am not a very open person when it comes to sharing my feelings in a public setting. I keep a lot of emotions hidden and even Jeff has a hard time getting how I feel about things out of me. I at times don't even realize I do it but he has brought it to my attention several times. When I was having contractions before they induced me, he would call me constantly asking me how I felt because apparently I wasn't letting him know if they hurt or what was fully going on.
Since arriving home I have spurts of crying spells. They can last about 10 mins and usually are brought on by something I see. There was a commercial with an old man sitting on the steps with his grandson and I started crying because I realized that one day I will be old. My kids will grow up and I haven't had enough time to cherish those precious moments with them. I don't know where the last 9 months have gone. Savannah has grown NINE months more and its gone by way too fast. I know the newbornness will pass and I will never get it back. Soon he will be crawling and walking and talking. I don't know how to slow time down. Thats where I'm at. Anybody got any thoughts for me?
Since arriving home I have spurts of crying spells. They can last about 10 mins and usually are brought on by something I see. There was a commercial with an old man sitting on the steps with his grandson and I started crying because I realized that one day I will be old. My kids will grow up and I haven't had enough time to cherish those precious moments with them. I don't know where the last 9 months have gone. Savannah has grown NINE months more and its gone by way too fast. I know the newbornness will pass and I will never get it back. Soon he will be crawling and walking and talking. I don't know how to slow time down. Thats where I'm at. Anybody got any thoughts for me?
Monday, February 20, 2012
The Second Time Around
Bringing Carson home was a different feeling this time. With Savannah I had an overwhelmingness of how I was going to care for a newborn and about how life would be different. We were also in the middle of remodeling the house which added additional stress. Still we managed just fine and now almost 2 years later we brought home another addition to our family. This time around, I'm not anxious about how to care for a newborn. Instead I feel more guilt for bringing home another one and taking away all her attention. I keep reminding myself that is the reason why we had another one so that Savannah would have someone to play with in the future. It's just my body in restart mode trying to get all my hormones back in balance. I still feel extremely blessed to have 2 healthy children. That's all that really matters.
Getting Carson to breastfeed is much easier than Savannah. No baby ate as much as Savannah did. I have a harder time getting Carson to eat enough and Savannah would not let go. Two complete opposite types of babies. I could sit and nurse Savannah for an hour waiting for her to unlatch. Carson is done after 10-15 mins. I have a feeling that Carson won't gain weight as fast as Savannah did.
Now the challenges of learning to juggle two kids will start. Dividing my attention between the demands of a newborn and a toddler. Then of course you have that whole maintaining a marriage :)
Getting Carson to breastfeed is much easier than Savannah. No baby ate as much as Savannah did. I have a harder time getting Carson to eat enough and Savannah would not let go. Two complete opposite types of babies. I could sit and nurse Savannah for an hour waiting for her to unlatch. Carson is done after 10-15 mins. I have a feeling that Carson won't gain weight as fast as Savannah did.
Now the challenges of learning to juggle two kids will start. Dividing my attention between the demands of a newborn and a toddler. Then of course you have that whole maintaining a marriage :)
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Carson Michael's Arrival
I wanted to blog Carson's birth story for any of you that are interested in how he arrived into the world. I love reading other people's birth stories and learn how things worked for them. It's always such a beautiful thing to read about how strong women are and the emotions of a newborn entering the world.
On Wednesday, the doctors office called me to remind me of my appointment on Friday. I just happened to mention on the phone that I had been having more contractions since Monday afternoon. They asked me to come in to see what was going on. When the doctor got to examine me, he was surprised to find that I was 5 cms dilated and ready to go at any moment. We sat in his office as he made phone calls and rubbed his head trying to figure out what to do. He didn't want me walking around in the "condition" I was in for the fear that I could deliver on the way to the hospital. He wanted a controlled environment where their was medical staff on hand. The new rules for induction is to not induce any woman before 39 weeks unless there is a medical condition to do so. I was 38 weeks and 2 days with him leaving on Saturday (today) for a week of vacation. I went home after my appointment only to have contractions pick up a little. Which I'm sure had something to do with my examination. Jeff and I drove to the hospital that night to be monitored to see if my contractions were actually real or the same braxton hicks ones I've been having. We were sent home at 3am Thursday morning after no change was being made. My doctor called me on Thursday as I was out trying to walk the baby out and keep my mind off of the task at hand. He had called corporate people at the hospital to explain the situation. He pressed the urgency of how quickly I was go if I started to go into labor. He also explained the safety of the situation is much greater at the hospital than having me walk around. Corporate agreed with him and I was scheduled to have my water broken on Friday morning.
Thursday I was wasn't feeling the greatest. Savannah had the stomach flu on Wednesday so naturally the germs prey on the one's with lower immune systems and I caught her bug. I did not sleep more than 1.5 hours on Thursday night to Friday morning. We weren't suppose to get to the hospital till 6am but at 4:30am I couldn't handle anymore of the nausea and thirst. All I wanted was an IV so I could get fluids and keep them in me. I did take an anti nausea pill at 3am that the doctor had prescribed for me when I had the stomach flu on Thanksgiving. Yes stomach flu twice while pregnant. I thought once was bad enough. I started feeling better around 6:30am once they got some fluids in me and the anti nausea pill started taking effect.
The doctor came in to break my water at 7:50. I was having very mild contractions moreso due to being slightly dehydrated. I started having contractions pick up but they weren't consist and I was dilating as fast as I thought I would until 10:30 came. At that time I was only dilated to a 7 which is about a cm an hour. I was starting to doubt my ability to do this naturally. I got on all 4's to just release the pressure off my hips and find some kind of comfort. I wasn't allowed to do the tub or even get out of the bed since they broke my water. At 11:15 I rolled over back to my back because nothing was comfortable at that point. As I was rolling over I got this sudden urge to push. The nurse checked me quick and same yep she's ready. They had called the doctor 45 mins ago before I got on all 4s and I was panicked then because they told me not to push. HAHA! Yeah right, don't push. There is no way that you can control this urge to push. I disregarded what the nurses were telling me and pushed anyways. I was honestly trying to hold back and breathe but that only worked about halfway through the contraction. That's when you have no control over what you're body is doing. You're mind will not listen to anything you're telling it. I saw the doctor arrive finally and I was thinking "where have you been?" Nurses were asking him questions and I saw his facial expression as the head was already coming out. The nurses asked if he wanted booties as he was whipping all his outerwear off. He said "we don't have time for booties." After 8 mins of pushing Carson Michael arrived laying on my chest. It was the best surprise ever to look between his legs to find out what the baby was. Carson wasn't even on the list of names that we had discussed but that was the name that came to my head when he arrived. I couldn't get that name out of my head and no other name made sense. Michael is Jeff's middle name. We had planned on using his middle name if the baby was a boy.
I really enjoyed being able to do this naturally. I doubted myself many times through the painful contractions but figured it was too late already. The time went by so fast. It felt like I only had a few contractions from 10:30- 11:15 even though they were coming every 2 mins. I remember things so vividly this time around. I never really had that sudden urge to push with Savannah. I just decided to push when they told me I was getting close. When Carson arrived the doctor looked at me and said "thank you for not making me a liar to corporate that you were going to go fast once things got started." 3 1/2 hours from start to finish. A little under 1 hour of hard labor. After 9 months I had a beautiful pregnancy and a beautiful birth story. I wouldn't do it any other way.
On Wednesday, the doctors office called me to remind me of my appointment on Friday. I just happened to mention on the phone that I had been having more contractions since Monday afternoon. They asked me to come in to see what was going on. When the doctor got to examine me, he was surprised to find that I was 5 cms dilated and ready to go at any moment. We sat in his office as he made phone calls and rubbed his head trying to figure out what to do. He didn't want me walking around in the "condition" I was in for the fear that I could deliver on the way to the hospital. He wanted a controlled environment where their was medical staff on hand. The new rules for induction is to not induce any woman before 39 weeks unless there is a medical condition to do so. I was 38 weeks and 2 days with him leaving on Saturday (today) for a week of vacation. I went home after my appointment only to have contractions pick up a little. Which I'm sure had something to do with my examination. Jeff and I drove to the hospital that night to be monitored to see if my contractions were actually real or the same braxton hicks ones I've been having. We were sent home at 3am Thursday morning after no change was being made. My doctor called me on Thursday as I was out trying to walk the baby out and keep my mind off of the task at hand. He had called corporate people at the hospital to explain the situation. He pressed the urgency of how quickly I was go if I started to go into labor. He also explained the safety of the situation is much greater at the hospital than having me walk around. Corporate agreed with him and I was scheduled to have my water broken on Friday morning.
Thursday I was wasn't feeling the greatest. Savannah had the stomach flu on Wednesday so naturally the germs prey on the one's with lower immune systems and I caught her bug. I did not sleep more than 1.5 hours on Thursday night to Friday morning. We weren't suppose to get to the hospital till 6am but at 4:30am I couldn't handle anymore of the nausea and thirst. All I wanted was an IV so I could get fluids and keep them in me. I did take an anti nausea pill at 3am that the doctor had prescribed for me when I had the stomach flu on Thanksgiving. Yes stomach flu twice while pregnant. I thought once was bad enough. I started feeling better around 6:30am once they got some fluids in me and the anti nausea pill started taking effect.
The doctor came in to break my water at 7:50. I was having very mild contractions moreso due to being slightly dehydrated. I started having contractions pick up but they weren't consist and I was dilating as fast as I thought I would until 10:30 came. At that time I was only dilated to a 7 which is about a cm an hour. I was starting to doubt my ability to do this naturally. I got on all 4's to just release the pressure off my hips and find some kind of comfort. I wasn't allowed to do the tub or even get out of the bed since they broke my water. At 11:15 I rolled over back to my back because nothing was comfortable at that point. As I was rolling over I got this sudden urge to push. The nurse checked me quick and same yep she's ready. They had called the doctor 45 mins ago before I got on all 4s and I was panicked then because they told me not to push. HAHA! Yeah right, don't push. There is no way that you can control this urge to push. I disregarded what the nurses were telling me and pushed anyways. I was honestly trying to hold back and breathe but that only worked about halfway through the contraction. That's when you have no control over what you're body is doing. You're mind will not listen to anything you're telling it. I saw the doctor arrive finally and I was thinking "where have you been?" Nurses were asking him questions and I saw his facial expression as the head was already coming out. The nurses asked if he wanted booties as he was whipping all his outerwear off. He said "we don't have time for booties." After 8 mins of pushing Carson Michael arrived laying on my chest. It was the best surprise ever to look between his legs to find out what the baby was. Carson wasn't even on the list of names that we had discussed but that was the name that came to my head when he arrived. I couldn't get that name out of my head and no other name made sense. Michael is Jeff's middle name. We had planned on using his middle name if the baby was a boy.
I really enjoyed being able to do this naturally. I doubted myself many times through the painful contractions but figured it was too late already. The time went by so fast. It felt like I only had a few contractions from 10:30- 11:15 even though they were coming every 2 mins. I remember things so vividly this time around. I never really had that sudden urge to push with Savannah. I just decided to push when they told me I was getting close. When Carson arrived the doctor looked at me and said "thank you for not making me a liar to corporate that you were going to go fast once things got started." 3 1/2 hours from start to finish. A little under 1 hour of hard labor. After 9 months I had a beautiful pregnancy and a beautiful birth story. I wouldn't do it any other way.
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Waiting with anticipation
As we anticipate the birth of Raiders #2, I can't help but think how it feels like I have been pregnant forever yet the time has gone by so fast. Soon we will be celebrating Savannah's 2nd birthday (YIKES!). Soon we will be watching this next little one hit milestones as we did with Savannah. There will be first laughs, words, rolling over, crawling, walking, and much much more. Plus all the first time incidentals in life that us parents hate to admit such as when your baby rolls off the couch or bed for the first time. Time goes by way too fast.
As the anticipation builds time seems to slow down and the arrival isn't coming soon enough. Or maybe the fact that I have had braxton hicks contractions with this one for the past 2 1/2 months or so. Every little twitch I still wonder if this is it. I know that nobody has been pregnant forever and my time will come. It's still so much fun to build up the excitement for the day. It's such a good surprise in life when life doesn't give you very many of those anymore. I got a phone call today to remind me of my appointment on Friday and my heart sank a little. I was hoping I wouldn't need that appointment. My belly has gotten to the point where I have no idea where I'm going to fit anymore in. I can't tell if I have contractions anymore or if its the baby moving. I say enough is enough and am trying to encourage the little one to come out to meet us.
As the anticipation builds time seems to slow down and the arrival isn't coming soon enough. Or maybe the fact that I have had braxton hicks contractions with this one for the past 2 1/2 months or so. Every little twitch I still wonder if this is it. I know that nobody has been pregnant forever and my time will come. It's still so much fun to build up the excitement for the day. It's such a good surprise in life when life doesn't give you very many of those anymore. I got a phone call today to remind me of my appointment on Friday and my heart sank a little. I was hoping I wouldn't need that appointment. My belly has gotten to the point where I have no idea where I'm going to fit anymore in. I can't tell if I have contractions anymore or if its the baby moving. I say enough is enough and am trying to encourage the little one to come out to meet us.
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