As I am getting nearer to the third trimester my moods are shifting quite a bit. A lot more than with Savannah. I find myself wiping tears away for silly little things that people write that are sentimental or watching Savannah play. Today I was attempting to get her to feel the baby kick. I think she did for she looked at it and started poking my belly button. I told her that she's going to be a big sister and that baby needs lots of kisses and hugs. She then proceeded to wrap her arms around my belly and give it a kiss. Now if I could only get her to stop rubbing her belly saying baby. I also find myself getting upset at things that I normally wouldn't get upset over. I do my best to hold back but typically find myself venting to anyone that is willing to listen.
Also as the third trimester makes itself into view, I find myself worrying about things. I wonder what's going to happen if I go into labor during the day? What am I going to do with Savannah? How am I going to handle 2? I need to get all my big projects done before baby gets here. And no I can't fathom leaving them until after baby because I know that we will be moving sooner than later. I would rather stress about it now then when Jeff comes home to tell me we are relocating. These projects I feel need to be done in order to put the house on the market when that time comes. I only want to be prepared and save myself the stress of it later.
Since Savannah has transitioned into her big girl bed, she has been crawling into bed with us at 5:30 or 6 every morning. I enjoy this to no end. I don't mind being woken up to snuggle with her. The part I do mind is when she starts kicking my belly, in turn, waking up the baby. Jeff has told me this weekend that she needs to stop crawling into bed with us before it becomes too much of a habit. I feel so heartbroken over this. Savannah has never been much of a snuggler. Even when she was a baby. She liked having her space or eating. To have her crawl into bed and snuggle with me is the most precious thing ever. I know those moments are going to be coming to an end very soon. I don't know who needs the snuggle time more, Savannah or me? I feel guilty bringing in another baby that is going to take some of her attention away. I know that its the best thing for her but I still can't help in feeling a little guilty. I know its completely normal to feel this way but it doesn't help the way I feel right now. As the baby's movements have really picked up this week, it makes me very aware of the changes that are going to occur with our family. It's very bittersweet to sense the change that is coming our way.
Monday, November 21, 2011
Thursday, November 17, 2011
18 months
Savannah turning 18 months came and was gone just as fast. We did her check up yesterday where they checked her iron and gave her one shot. Hopefully the last one for a while! I'm not really into all the immunizations they are giving little ones nowdays. It seems that they are wanting to give her 3-4 shots everytime we walk into the office. Some of these shots contain more than one vaccine in the dose too. I just can't imagine injecting that many "viruses" into this tiny person at one time. I know everyone has their opinion on it so I will just leave it at that before I really get on a rant. Jeff and I are wanting to see this movie so bad. http://www.greatergoodmovie.org/trailer .
At 18 months, Savannah has really started to change into a real person. She is starting to take showers. We wanted to start this so she would get more comfortable with getting her face wet. She has always had that fear of getting her face washed or her hair. We did not want it to get too far where she would be afraid of swimming. She also sleeps in a "big" girl bed where she puts herself to bed some nights only requiring me to tuck her in and say good night. She can get out of bed just as easy though. I usually have a visitor somewhere between 5am and 6am. She knows my weakness because I'm too tired to argue with her so just pick her up to put her in between Jeff and I. That will be a battle for another time. She has picked up on more words walking around saying uh-oh or mamamamama. I don't mind the mama one because I waited 18 months to hear her say it! Please child, keep going. She started walking at 13 months and now is almost at a "running" pace. That makes chasing her for diaper changes and getting her dressed such a delight!. One of these days someone will come to my house with an only diapered child because I will be too big to chase after her to put clothes on her. I've been slowly getting her closet set in "outfits" so daddy can dress her somewhat easy. She is drinking from a cup now at the table. Gradually getting the sippys only for car trips. She does fabulous at not spilling her drink. I just leave the glass on the table with water and when she's thirsty she climbs on the chair to get her glass. Simple enough. I'm sick of looking EVERYWHERE for sippy cups. I can't tell you how many times I have had to boil black mold off her cups. She is starting to attempt to dress herself. I was amazed to see her dig a skirt out of the clean laundry pile, sit down on the floor and attempt to put it on. She didn't succeed without assistance but the fact that she was taking it upon herself to get dressed amazed me. Remember I'm a stay at home mom so little things like that just thrill me to no end.
A lot has changed in her in the last 3 months. She kept her weight gain under a lb and grew 3 inches in the last 3 months. She cut 2 molars and is working on the other two. She is really getting a mouth full of teeth which I'm STILL working on her not biting. I have tried every method that everyone has suggested. She is just very determined to knaw at my arm or daddy's toes. It must be the german in her.
At 18 months, Savannah has really started to change into a real person. She is starting to take showers. We wanted to start this so she would get more comfortable with getting her face wet. She has always had that fear of getting her face washed or her hair. We did not want it to get too far where she would be afraid of swimming. She also sleeps in a "big" girl bed where she puts herself to bed some nights only requiring me to tuck her in and say good night. She can get out of bed just as easy though. I usually have a visitor somewhere between 5am and 6am. She knows my weakness because I'm too tired to argue with her so just pick her up to put her in between Jeff and I. That will be a battle for another time. She has picked up on more words walking around saying uh-oh or mamamamama. I don't mind the mama one because I waited 18 months to hear her say it! Please child, keep going. She started walking at 13 months and now is almost at a "running" pace. That makes chasing her for diaper changes and getting her dressed such a delight!. One of these days someone will come to my house with an only diapered child because I will be too big to chase after her to put clothes on her. I've been slowly getting her closet set in "outfits" so daddy can dress her somewhat easy. She is drinking from a cup now at the table. Gradually getting the sippys only for car trips. She does fabulous at not spilling her drink. I just leave the glass on the table with water and when she's thirsty she climbs on the chair to get her glass. Simple enough. I'm sick of looking EVERYWHERE for sippy cups. I can't tell you how many times I have had to boil black mold off her cups. She is starting to attempt to dress herself. I was amazed to see her dig a skirt out of the clean laundry pile, sit down on the floor and attempt to put it on. She didn't succeed without assistance but the fact that she was taking it upon herself to get dressed amazed me. Remember I'm a stay at home mom so little things like that just thrill me to no end.
A lot has changed in her in the last 3 months. She kept her weight gain under a lb and grew 3 inches in the last 3 months. She cut 2 molars and is working on the other two. She is really getting a mouth full of teeth which I'm STILL working on her not biting. I have tried every method that everyone has suggested. She is just very determined to knaw at my arm or daddy's toes. It must be the german in her.
Monday, November 14, 2011
The other side of a stay at home mom
I am only writing this in the thought that I'm sure I am not the only one that has felt this way. I am talking about jealousy at moments. I get slightly jealous when Jeff goes to work in the morning because he gets to leave those crabby moments and associate with the real world. That jealousy is short lived and usually passes once Savannah wakes up from her nap. You know, once the mood has changed.
Jeff was at a National Sales Meeting these past 5 days. While he was gone I felt a little jealous as he was telling me about all the things he was doing and all the people he was talking to. Meanwhile, I had not talked to anyone since he left (in person). When talking to him on the phone, I want to be nothing but supportive. I feel as his wife, its my duty to encourage him and support him for giving me the opportunity to do the best gift in the world, raise our daughter and soon to be second child. Not many people get this opportunity so I want to make sure that he feels appreciated and loved for all his hard work. He does such a great job making sure I feel appreciated. I just want to make sure that I do the same in return. It's only human nature to feel some jealousy for the things another person gets to do that you don't get to do. That's when I need to remember how jealousy can ruin a relationship and turn to God for deliverance from this jealousy. I'm sure at times when he dreads going to work, he wishes he could stay at home with us.
Why do I share this? I'm sure some other mom feels jealous at times. I would love nothing more some days to drop all my responsibilities and go back to those college carefree days. I would love to be able to go out at night or go to the bathroom without encouragement standing next to me. Or the 3am 3ft visitor that comes to my bedside with all her most precious possessions asking to crawl in. I love the life I have but sometimes stupid jealousy comes creeping in. Must not allow it to stay.
Jeff was at a National Sales Meeting these past 5 days. While he was gone I felt a little jealous as he was telling me about all the things he was doing and all the people he was talking to. Meanwhile, I had not talked to anyone since he left (in person). When talking to him on the phone, I want to be nothing but supportive. I feel as his wife, its my duty to encourage him and support him for giving me the opportunity to do the best gift in the world, raise our daughter and soon to be second child. Not many people get this opportunity so I want to make sure that he feels appreciated and loved for all his hard work. He does such a great job making sure I feel appreciated. I just want to make sure that I do the same in return. It's only human nature to feel some jealousy for the things another person gets to do that you don't get to do. That's when I need to remember how jealousy can ruin a relationship and turn to God for deliverance from this jealousy. I'm sure at times when he dreads going to work, he wishes he could stay at home with us.
Why do I share this? I'm sure some other mom feels jealous at times. I would love nothing more some days to drop all my responsibilities and go back to those college carefree days. I would love to be able to go out at night or go to the bathroom without encouragement standing next to me. Or the 3am 3ft visitor that comes to my bedside with all her most precious possessions asking to crawl in. I love the life I have but sometimes stupid jealousy comes creeping in. Must not allow it to stay.
Saturday, November 12, 2011
A Mover's Heart
My friend Lynsee and I were talking the other day about how many times we had moved in such and such amount of years. With the move to Ohio, I finally sat down and recollected all the addresses Jeff and I have had since meeting/getting married. I never thought that I would even move once in my life let alone 8 times! So far! Growing up in a small town, thats all I knew and figured that's all I would ever know. Somehow I got this grand idea to go to college in my head. Who knew that I would pick a school in Wisconsin! And meet a boy there that would take me places I have never been.
When I got to college I had no intention on meeting someone. I kept my eyes peeled just in case but had one goal in mind and that was to beat my friend Jorgen at being the last to get married. (By the way, I have been married for almost 3 years and Jorgen is still winning. I should know better than to play against her!) When I met Jeff he was somebody I wasn't planning on dating or possibly even being interested in. He was not the guy I had envisioned in my head but his charm, passion for life, and compassion grew me to fall head over heels for him. I'm glad that I didn't let that opportunity pass me up for it has brought me a world full of joy. I have a beautiful daughter that I am blessed to stay at home with and another one on the way. He works beyond his means to achieve his dreams and provide for his family. It's an honor to stand by him.
With getting a job with the company he did it has brought us to move quite a bit. When moving to Massachusetts, I was so excited to make new friends and meet people right away to gain back what I had lost leaving Minnesota. I met one great friend in a mommy group and a bunch of other amazing moms at our church group that we became a part of. I was settling into my surroundings and loved being able to take Savannah to storytime. They had such a fabulous storytime program in MA. We were planning on being there for 6-9 months for training. It felt as if the time I said hello to all these people I was saying good-bye. I miss them each and every day. Moving to Ohio, has in a way hindered me from making too many friends because I'm always anticipating that phone call. The leaving of my friends so fast from our last move has in a way put a sting in my mouth to make friends here. We have been here for almost 4 months which is how long we were in MA before getting a call. I know that I should make the most of every move and take the opportunity each time to make friends, plant yourself in a church, and become associated with people in the area. Somehow I just have lost the drive to do this this time around. I'm waiting for our move where Jeff will say, "we will be here for a while." The only time it is hard not to have a lot of friends here is when Jeff is gone. This is his first trip away from us for a longer period of time (5 days). Usually there are a few overnights here and there. For now, I will enjoy the few good friends I have met here and anticipate the return of my other half home. The one that makes my life feel so much more complete.
When I got to college I had no intention on meeting someone. I kept my eyes peeled just in case but had one goal in mind and that was to beat my friend Jorgen at being the last to get married. (By the way, I have been married for almost 3 years and Jorgen is still winning. I should know better than to play against her!) When I met Jeff he was somebody I wasn't planning on dating or possibly even being interested in. He was not the guy I had envisioned in my head but his charm, passion for life, and compassion grew me to fall head over heels for him. I'm glad that I didn't let that opportunity pass me up for it has brought me a world full of joy. I have a beautiful daughter that I am blessed to stay at home with and another one on the way. He works beyond his means to achieve his dreams and provide for his family. It's an honor to stand by him.
With getting a job with the company he did it has brought us to move quite a bit. When moving to Massachusetts, I was so excited to make new friends and meet people right away to gain back what I had lost leaving Minnesota. I met one great friend in a mommy group and a bunch of other amazing moms at our church group that we became a part of. I was settling into my surroundings and loved being able to take Savannah to storytime. They had such a fabulous storytime program in MA. We were planning on being there for 6-9 months for training. It felt as if the time I said hello to all these people I was saying good-bye. I miss them each and every day. Moving to Ohio, has in a way hindered me from making too many friends because I'm always anticipating that phone call. The leaving of my friends so fast from our last move has in a way put a sting in my mouth to make friends here. We have been here for almost 4 months which is how long we were in MA before getting a call. I know that I should make the most of every move and take the opportunity each time to make friends, plant yourself in a church, and become associated with people in the area. Somehow I just have lost the drive to do this this time around. I'm waiting for our move where Jeff will say, "we will be here for a while." The only time it is hard not to have a lot of friends here is when Jeff is gone. This is his first trip away from us for a longer period of time (5 days). Usually there are a few overnights here and there. For now, I will enjoy the few good friends I have met here and anticipate the return of my other half home. The one that makes my life feel so much more complete.
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
The second time around
I am now 23 weeks pregnant. I have no idea where the time has gone but the rest of the time can't go fast enough either. I am anxious to meet the next little one and find out the gender. This pregnancy however is so much different than Savannah. I have been told that each pregnancy is different but like many other things, you don't have a clue what people are talking about until you are living it.
I am not as hungry as I was with Savannah. Sure I am eating more than I normally would consume but with Savannah I was constantly hungry. I didn't know if it was possible to get full with her and so I gained 50 lbs. I heard that it's harder to lose it with the second one so I'm watching what I'm eating. Trust me, I'm still eating more than my fair share of calories needed in a day.
Savannah jumping all over me is no fun. I feel like this baby never gets a chance to sleep. I feel sorry for it at times because they have to deal with the happenings of the house everyday. Plus my need to nest right now, doesn't give me much time to sit. My mind is constantly thinking about the next project that needs to get done. I think I will take a break during 3rd trimester. If my brain will let me.
When I was pregnant with Savannah, I would wake up at 5am with insomnia. Sometimes 4am. I would simply eat a little something, watch some tv, then head back to bed for a couple more hours of sleep. Now Savannah still wakes up at 5am, climbs into bed with me, and proceeds to kick me waking up the one that was sleeping. More tossing and turning, telling Savannah and baby to go back to sleep. By the time 8:30pm comes around, I'm exhausted and can barely keep my eyes open.
With Savannah's pregnancy it felt like the weeks went by so slow. I went to counting days just so I felt like I was getting somewhere. All I can think now is pure panic at the fact that I'm not ready and this baby is coming what seems like tomorrow. I am so anxious to expand our family and watch it continue to grow. Until then, I will do mind races trying to figure out how I'm going to handle 2 and which double stroller is best for us.
I am not as hungry as I was with Savannah. Sure I am eating more than I normally would consume but with Savannah I was constantly hungry. I didn't know if it was possible to get full with her and so I gained 50 lbs. I heard that it's harder to lose it with the second one so I'm watching what I'm eating. Trust me, I'm still eating more than my fair share of calories needed in a day.
Savannah jumping all over me is no fun. I feel like this baby never gets a chance to sleep. I feel sorry for it at times because they have to deal with the happenings of the house everyday. Plus my need to nest right now, doesn't give me much time to sit. My mind is constantly thinking about the next project that needs to get done. I think I will take a break during 3rd trimester. If my brain will let me.
When I was pregnant with Savannah, I would wake up at 5am with insomnia. Sometimes 4am. I would simply eat a little something, watch some tv, then head back to bed for a couple more hours of sleep. Now Savannah still wakes up at 5am, climbs into bed with me, and proceeds to kick me waking up the one that was sleeping. More tossing and turning, telling Savannah and baby to go back to sleep. By the time 8:30pm comes around, I'm exhausted and can barely keep my eyes open.
With Savannah's pregnancy it felt like the weeks went by so slow. I went to counting days just so I felt like I was getting somewhere. All I can think now is pure panic at the fact that I'm not ready and this baby is coming what seems like tomorrow. I am so anxious to expand our family and watch it continue to grow. Until then, I will do mind races trying to figure out how I'm going to handle 2 and which double stroller is best for us.
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