I am writing this in hopes that someone has some words of encouragement or has felt the same way I have. I am not a very open person when it comes to sharing my feelings in a public setting. I keep a lot of emotions hidden and even Jeff has a hard time getting how I feel about things out of me. I at times don't even realize I do it but he has brought it to my attention several times. When I was having contractions before they induced me, he would call me constantly asking me how I felt because apparently I wasn't letting him know if they hurt or what was fully going on.
Since arriving home I have spurts of crying spells. They can last about 10 mins and usually are brought on by something I see. There was a commercial with an old man sitting on the steps with his grandson and I started crying because I realized that one day I will be old. My kids will grow up and I haven't had enough time to cherish those precious moments with them. I don't know where the last 9 months have gone. Savannah has grown NINE months more and its gone by way too fast. I know the newbornness will pass and I will never get it back. Soon he will be crawling and walking and talking. I don't know how to slow time down. Thats where I'm at. Anybody got any thoughts for me?
You are five days postpartum. Your hormones are crashing right now. More than half of mothers experience the "Baby Blues" with crying spells exactly like you describe. It's not irrational, it's just a little out of proportion to how you might handle the same feelings on another day. Cherish the moments, take lots of pictures, and enjoy the ride of parenting. Every phase is a wonderful phase. Leaving one phase behind is only a way to welcome a new one. You are loved.
ReplyDeleteYou are feeling the pressure that every mother feels after bring home baby..you want to do everything right and want to be the best mom there is. You have a lot on your plate and you are gonna have to lean on those who love and care for you. I know that you don't have anyone around to hang out with during the day (so wish I could stay home), but call me at anytime you need to. I went through the same thing when I had Hunter and it is scary. Don't be afraid to ask for help, I will help you whenever I can.
ReplyDeleteThank you for the words of encouragement. I know that each day will get better. I just have learned to cherish all the days now. I am trying to put other things aside and pay extra close attention to my kids. I want to be able to look back on these times with fondness and know that I spent all the time I could with them. Dishes, laundry, and housework can wait another day. You can only learn to put the square block in the square hole today!
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