Beaba Baby

So this is on my want list for the next baby. I'm really getting sick of supplying money to the Gerber bank when I'm fully capable of making my own baby food. I saw this at William's Sonoma and told Jeff that this is a must have. All the accessories that go with it are just adorable. Aww someday you will be mine.

Back from Green Bay

Yes the Raiders household has returned from our 9 day trip to Green Bay. The ride home was a little less eventful than the ride there. We kept Savannah up as long as we could on Sunday morning so that she would take a nice long nap for the ride home. Well that lasted about 1.5 hours. She was a real trooper though listening to all her Disney and Winnie the Pooh cds. She didn't make a real fuss until 3 hours into the trip. Luckily La Crosse was where we were planning on stopping and resting for a couple hours to give her a break from the car. We left at 1:15 and got home at 8. It was a great day for a drive home too.

Thanksgiving was so much fun this year. It's always fun to eat and eat and eat to your hearts content. There's not many days out of the year that you can really get away with that. Plus our family has so much to be thankful for this year. Here's the short list:
Savannah, Jeff's interview on Wednesday, providing us with a economical wise car, surviving parenthood thus far, having a place to go to for the holidays, being able to be a stay-at-home mom

Friday I did the Black Friday thing. It's really not my favorite day to shop. I would much rather jump over people on the day after Christmas for all the Christmas stuff that's 50% off. That's how I have accumulated a majority of my stuff. I take mental note of certain things I want in the Christmas aisle and aim to get them when they are at a more reasonable price. I did end up nabbing some items that I needed on Black Friday. I can never have enough white long sleeve shirts. They seem to get stained or just plain worn out. I got one at Old Navy for $5. I also bought Savannah a toy at Kohls for 50% for the ride home. A new toy to play with I thought might do the trick but I think she just enjoyed looking out the window for most of the ride.

Saturday Jeff and I went to Appleton shopping for the perfect dress for the Hormel Prom ahem, I mean the Hormel Christmas Party. Pictures to come but Jeff and I both thought it was the perfect dress.

Sunday: Savannah was baptized at Grandma and Grandpa Raiders church. We wanted to do it at a time when the Great Grandparents could also be there for it. It was a very special day. It was the day that Jeff and I stood in front of a congregation and said that we will be raising our daughter in a christian lifestyle. She just wanted to play with the dress. She was so squirmy that day that it was like holding onto a bar of soap. The dress was so slippery and that didn't make it any easier.

So when hopping on the scale upon coming home from GB, I made a said discovery that I didn't meet my weight goal of gaining 10 lbs. So there's still Christmas coming. Most people would think that being thin is something that every woman strives to be. Well I'm going to get a little personal and tell you that its not what its cracked up to be. People make comments about how thin you are and I'm the type of person that I don't know what to say after they make a comment. I'm not a person to be the certain of attention. I don't like attention drawn at me. I like to look good but not enough to draw all the attention on me. Just enough to make myself feel good. I will admit that I don't like the way I look. What woman does though. I know that God made me in his image but I wish he would though a little fat in desirable locations. Even my mother-in-law made the comment as I sat down after I just got done eating supper with a bag of potato chips and dip, how do you stay so thin and eat so much. Thank you! My point exactly. I'm not striving to be "thin". I don't have bulimia or anorexia. I'm really sick of the comments of "you need to eat something" or the sarcastic "your the mom". I eat! Jeff actually gets frustrated at times because I eat so much and when he eats as much as I do, he gains weight.

Onto my next struggle. I'm really caught between a rock and a hard place on this one. It's been this way for a while now. I think it started when I lost my job or else shortly there after. Anyways, Jeff wants me to go to bed with him every night. I try my best to do whats pleasing to him because really he doesn't ask for a lot. When he does ask for something he usually has a good reason behind it. I need my "me" time before going to bed. I need to have time to fold laundry that I didn't get to or simply watch a show without a little one screeching in the background. It's a time when I don't have Jeff calling my name to have me help him with something. We have tried to make a compromise where I will go to bed but get up and do my things that I want to once he's asleep. That didn't last very long because the sign of an argument he throws in my face "but you leave me when I fall asleep." How did I know that would come to bite me?! We need to figure out some kind of way to fix this before we have another child. I will eventually NEED that time of having no babies crawling on me or demanding my attention. Some time to just unwind and relax my mind so I don't go crazy. It's not that I don't want to sleep next to him when he goes to bed but I just need some sanity too. He tells me that I need my sleep and that's why I should go to bed. He's right but I don't fall asleep as easily as he does. Maybe it will get better when he doesn't have to wake up at 5am anymore and gets a position with a little more flexibility. Until then...let the battle continue.

Here's to hoping for another good nights rest.

Vacation Part 2

I can't believe it's already Wednesday. This vacation is going by way too fast. But what vacation doesn't!? Jeff and I are getting some much needed family time together. On Monday I didn't change a single diaper. That has never happened in the past 6 1/2 months. I realized that I hadn't changed one once I got to bed. Oh it's so nice to have helpers.

Monday Jeff and his dad worked on getting trains up. His dad has a train set he sets up every year with Department 56 houses. It was a train set passed down to him. A family tradition. Savannah and I stayed upstairs and just relaxed. So far my vacation has not been about taking naps or sleeping in. Actually it's quite the contrary. I have not slept past 7am this whole vacation yet. Savannah has insisted on getting up earlier than ever. And really isn't in the mood to take naps either. There's just so much going on. She doesn't want to miss anything.

Yesterday we met with Pastor Don to discuss the Baptism that's going to take place on Sunday. Jeff and I view it as a time when we stand up in front of everyone and say we will be raising this child as a child of God. I know everyone has their own interpretation of what baptism means to them. That's just how Jeff and I view it.

Last night as I was feeding Savannah her supper she fell asleep. I put her spoon in her food and put it up to her mouth to see her eyes close. Ok, sometimes your just too tired from playing and deciding your not going to take a nap that you have to crash. You can't party all day long.

Vacation Part 1

I had not been feeling well the past week so on Thursday night we decided that we would skip going to the cities and just drive to Green Bay on Saturday morning. I started feeling somewhat better on Friday and got laundry done so figured that we would just head out after Jeff got off work. The first half of the drive was a breeze. Savannah slept the whole way so we stopped for supper in Tomah to give her a break from her car seat. When we got back in the car to start going for the rest of the journey, Savannah was very fussy in the backseat. Nothing seemed to soothe her. I would sing (poor Jeff) and that would take care of the problem for a little bit. (I told Jeff that we need a kids song cd very badly so that he wouldn't need to hear me sing off key the whole rest of the way). I needed a late night snack by the time we got to Green Bay so we stopped at a grocery store. I decided to stay in the car with Savannah. I stretched myself back to see her in her rear facing car seat to discover that she had puke all over the front of her. How long had she been riding with that? Poor girl. I know it couldn't have been more than an hour because I had gotten in the backseat with her for a while until she fell asleep again at 9 when we only had another hour and a half left of the drive.

We finally reached destination Gma and Gpa's house. I quickly got her out of the car and into some fresh air. She decided to throw up one more time before I put her in the bathtub to calm her nerves down and clean that smell off of her. When attempting to put her to sleep she wouldn't stop squirming. I know have learned that that's a signal I really should know by now. I picked her up from her pack n' play only to have her throw up once more on my clean pajamas. Well so much for packing enough clothes to get us through a few days before I would have to do laundry again. I don't know why she keeps getting sick on these road trips. Is it from riding in the car backwards? Is is from her anxiety of being stuck, strapped down for hours on end? (Anders and Lynsee, aren't you glad we weren't at your house now!) 

We have had a wonderful time so far. We have went shopping and Grandma has spoiled Savannah so much. Savannah I think is enjoying all the affections of love showering on her. All the attention goes right to Savannah. It's such a blessing to have a daughter and such wonderful family to share these moments with. Even though I have a car seat to scrub down now which I'm sure will not be the last time I need to do such a thing, I would not trade her for the world. There's so much more vacation time left and the 300 lb person inside of me cannot wait to eat a tasty meal on Thanksgiving.

So far I have gotten to eat:
cordon bleu
red velvet cheesecake
loaded fries
Papa Johns pizza

YUM!!!!!!

Just out of reach

Savannah has started this new trend of wanting the toy that is farthest away from her. She will have every ring off her pyramid of rings but the blue one that got away is the one that she wants. Sometimes her need to have the one that's farthest away has some consequences such as falling forward for the first time. As I sat on the couch watching her today I realized that this is just another stage in her development. She is amazed at the fact that she can stand with mommy's help. It's a child's prerogative to always been wanting something that's out of reach. Once they learn how to roll, that's fun for a while until they have to find something else that will entertain them just as much.

Then it got me thinking even more. Isn't that the way we are all wired!? We all want to reach for something. We all have a goal in mind and just sometimes that goal is slightly out of reach. We lean over to try to grab it but we can only feel a glimpse of it. So we sit back up and try once more until we finally get it within reach. We can learn a lot through a small child. Never to give up on that goal for someday either someone will come and hand it to you or you will finally figure out a way to reach it yourself.

Just one of "those" days

Savannah's cold is finally letting up I feel. I woke up to her smiling and kicking her legs this morning. A big sigh of relief I felt coming on. We sat and watched Regis and Kelly this morning while snuggling on the couch. It was so nice to be able to snuggle on a chilly morning. I went about my normal morning routine of checking email and getting a shower. It soon came to be Savannah's morning nap time. I could not get her to stop fussing. I decided that she must just not be hungry. She must just want to lay down. I noticed when I laid her down that when she normally props both her hands behind her head and finds a comfy spot in the pillow, she only put her right hand behind her head and left the otherside along her side. Well this was odd. I picked up the arm but she was not a fan of that idea. I felt a limp, lethargic arm. I began to panic in my mind thinking of what could have happened. How did I just notice this? Has it been like this all morning? Did she use her left arm yesterday? Ahh yesterday. I recalled an incident when she had fallen backgrounds after sitting up. I went to pick her back up with only one hand. ( I know I shouldn't have done that.) I've done it before with no problem. I had something else in my hand and just wanted to quickly sit her back up. I felt this awful mom feeling come over me. It just so happened that her 6 month well child appointment was today so I thought what a perfect time for something to go wrong. I spent the rest of my day in worry and dismay at the fact that something like this had happened. The doctor reassured me that it was very common and that it could happen again but now we know what to do when it does happen. It was a very good, teachable moment. I realize that as a first time parent I'm going to make mistakes. This is probably not the first one that I'm going to make but at least this one was fairly easy to fix. Just a little prick to my heart to show me just how much I love my daughter and how much I don't want anything bad to happen to her. If I had a choice and knew that she wouldn't be stared at, I would wrap her in bubble wrap so that she would be protected always. Now I know that I can't do such a thing so I will just have to be extra careful next time but also realize that kids are going to get hurt.

Her well child went very well. She is in the 99 percentile of pretty much everything. Doctor was very pleased to see how well developed she is. That makes for some pretty proud parents.

Wisconsin Dells

This weekend Jeff, Savannah, and I all got loaded into the car and went on a 3 hour drive. Destination: Wisconsin Dells. The plan was to surprise Jeff's mom for her 50th birthday. She just so happened to have called me on Friday night asking me what our weather was doing down here. I remained nonchalant on the phone but inside I was bursting to tell her the exciting news. I asked her what she had planned for the weekend. She replied with a list of "to do" items that she had lined up before Thanksgiving. I got off the phone and told Jeff "your dad is going to have a hard time getting your mom out of the house this weekend. She has a list."

Upon arriving at Wisconsin Dells at the cabin that was rented for us to stay at for the weekend Jeff's mom was definitely surprised. His dad on the other hand had to drive a person 2.5 hours that was getting more agitated that her list was not getting done. That was until she saw all of us waiting for her on the end of her road trip. What a surprise!! Whewww I for once didn't spoil the surprise. I am quite proud of myself.

We went out for lunch at Famous Dave's where Savannah decided to share more of herself with me than I had planned. She has had a cold the last couple days. Well at the restaurant she started choking on her phlegm and ended up throwing up all over. My reaction was to stick my hands out to catch it but my hands weren't big enough when she kept going. I felt so bad for the waiter. I had one of those you know your a mom when...you catch your child's puke but just go wash your hands and return to the table to finish your meal.  Savannah slept most of the weekend. Her cold really did her in along with her teething. I can't wait till those teeth pop through. She is so miserable. For instance, she took an hour nap on Grandma's chest today, 2 hour nap at the water park, 3 hour nap on the way home, and oh by the way she is taking another nap right now. Poor little girl.

Wisconsin Dells just really hit the spot this weekend. It was so nice to just spend time as a family. No work. No interruptions. No one but family. It was something that Jeff and I had been missing out on for the past month. Jeff put his arm around me and says it feels like we haven't spent time together for a month. Um thats because that's how long its been. Between working weekends, helping dad roof his house, deer hunting, and more work its just taken up a lot of "our" time. Savannah wasn't as excited about the water as I wanted her to be. I can't blame her though. She will like it next time when she's not so sick. I think we may take her to a waterpark in Green Bay when we are there next week. I haven't gotten my satisfacation of seeing her splashing in the water yet with her new swim suit. I just happened to have it overnighted to make sure she had one for the waterpark. All in all it was so nice to get away for a weekend. I can't wait till next week when we get to do it longer. It always goes by way too fast.

6 years old once again

Remember when you were 6 and anything could be cured with a kiss. All it took was a spill on your bike and mom would rush over to hug and kiss all the pain away as tears fell on her shoulder. Now our adult selves hide our tears in hopes that no one will know we are in pain. At 6 no one cared if you had one pink sock on and one green sock on. In fact you were probably considered stylish by your best friend in the sandbox. Now we are constantly aware of how we look to get the other person to notice us. When we were 6 every boy had cooties and the only friends you wanted were girls. Now we ditch our friends to hang out with a potential boyfriend/fiancee/husband. At 6 anything you made was pretty. All your drawings were works of art and considered the next Monet. Now we constantly change the way we draw or write to make sure that it doesn't look stupid. At 6 when we didn't know how to say words it was considered cute. Try pronouncing a word wrong when your an adult and are considered to have a low IQ. When we were 6 all the clothes we put on looked fabulous. Now we sit and pick apart our body. We think our hips are too big, boobs are too small, and butt is too big. We are always telling ourselves if we lost 10 lbs things would look better.

To conclude lets get back to our 6 year old selves. Tons of imagination, happiness, and excitement about life. Basically our 6 year old selves would know that the sky is the limit. And thats the truth. Nothing is impossible when we set our minds to it and know that we are awesome people no matter what.

Regrets

It is now deer hunting season. I should count my blessings and remember that it is only one week out of the year but for some reason I dread this time. And I am only on the second year of it. I have the rest of my life to look forward to "this time of year." I have established boundaries to this new found hobby though. The deer will not be hanging in my yard (umm gross), I will not eat the meat (gross again), and I don't want to hear about the details of what the inside of the deer looked like (every woman is agreeing with me now...GROSS). He just tells me I need to be more supportive (roll of eyes). I thought letting him purchase the gun was enough support on my end. I did however make him a warmer vest, which I will be improving upon next year, and I made him a blanket because I can't have my Prince Charming getting cold.

I'm really regretting letting him have this hobby. It's one more expense, its one more thing that takes time away from each other, and I just don't like the idea of shooting a deer. The other part of me is saying that he needs his time to be outside and be with the guys. Work demands so much of his attention that it's hard not to get a little jealous especially when you are at home and just waiting for him to come home. Waiting for your best friend to spend time with you and talk to you. It's only natural to get jealous when they take time away from the one you love.

Jeff has his interview on December 1st. It's becoming more and more real the closer it gets. Praying for a positive change!

The Joneses

I haven't been on lately because the best thing to arrive to Austin finally opened its doors. Oh yes!! Jo Ann Fabrics is officially open for business as of last Friday. Lets just say, I have made a few trips there since they have opened. Just trying to stimulate the economy. Actually I just am in desperate need of winter craft projects. Right now I am working on recovering Savannah's crib bumper and my next project is to make the rest of her bedding once I get back there tomorrow.

The Christmas season is upon us which means that I get to hear that dreaded question... what do you want for Christmas? When I lost my job it was hard at first because we were so used to living a lifestyle of buying what we wanted and taking many trips up to the cities. We had a little more money to throw around plus I feel that we were getting out of that broke college student lifestyle. We had our first jobs and we wanted to spend money more freely. Since losing my job and a 1/3 of our household income, we have had to scale down somewhat our wants. Don't get me wrong. We still probably spend more than we should but that's beside the point. I have trained my brain to be content with what we have. It may be a struggle to have one car but it's what we feel comfortable affording. We may not live in the nicest house but its a roof over our heads and its filled with love. I hate when that question comes around. I have a really hard time sitting down and thinking about my own wants. I know that Jeff wants hunting stuff or skiing or tools. Savannah I know would love to have more toys to play with and I've been eyeing this bubble making machine for the bathtub because every fish needs bubbles. But then comes me. What do I want? I was so relieved when Jeff told me tonight, don't worry I have plenty of ideas for you. Well I'm glad someone knows what I want because I sure don't.

I received a phone call from my mom the other day. She was all upset because of how one of her siblings decided to spend their inheritance from Grandma passing away. Oh I hate inheritance so much. I think my goal in life is to die with all my money spent. Someone is always mad or feels they didn't get their fair share. But that's just my little rant. Anyways, my mom decided to buy herself a car (very legit in my eyes) and she bought Savannah a high chair (something we desperately needed and she knew we needed). I was more than happy with the gift she willingly bought Savannah. She told me she wanted to spoil her granddaughter. I honestly expected her just to use the money to live on. I wasn't expecting anything from her. Her sibling decided to give each of her children $500. She was crying because she was afraid that I would hear that and be disappointed with her because she didn't do the same. I told her honestly that I didn't care and that I wasn't expecting anything in the first place. I kept telling her over and over that you can't compare yourself to the Joneses. Just because another person is doing something else doesn't mean they have a better lifestyle than you. The tenth commandment is:
You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor’s.”
There's a reason why God made that a commandment. If you compare yourself to your neighbor, you will never be satisfied. You will live a very unhappy lifestyle.

The best way to live is not to expect anything. One of the best gifts is when someone does something for you and you weren't even expecting it. It makes your heart grow so much deeper and feel so much more appreciation towards that person. It makes you want to take care of those things because they mean more to you.

Miss Independent

I am only slightly saddened to see my little girl growing up so fast. She is starting to explore her world more and want to do everything that mommy and daddy are doing.  I almost started tearing up tonight as I knew she was ready to take a bath without mommy in the tub for once. Grandma gave her a bath on Sunday morning all by herself but this time it was my turn. Maybe having Jeff working late tonight and being there all by myself made me realize what was really happening in front of me. She is really starting to grow up. She's not that colic infant that we brought home from the hospital. As much as I dreaded 6:30pm when she would break into her nonstop crying for the next hour or so, I really miss that. She is developing her own personality each day. It really is a blessing to be able to watch her grow up.

Tonight she threw a fit because Jeff and I were eating supper and she was not. This is the first time she has ever done this. She kept leaning her mouth in towards me and opening it wide. Then when it would go to my mouth instead of hers she would start fussing. I had to think really child, I just fed you. I fear what is to come when she really starts developing a personality. I have a feeling I will be chasing her around the store or getting her from underneath the clothes racks. She is going to be just like her mommy was as a child. Lord have mercy.

Last night I decided to try the cry it out method. She has decided to wake up every 2-3 hours once again. Right when I think I have her only waking up once or twice and I think that I have finally gotten over that hurdle she starts in again. I decided to ignore her once she woke up at 2:30. 45 mins later....still crying. I tried her pacifier, her mobile, and rubbing her head gently while she laid in her crib. No relief. Finally I got up to nurse her so that we could both get some sleep finally. I don't mind waking up at 12:30 or 5:30 but that in between is just a hard one to do for me. That's the good sleep :)I know that someday she will be ready to sleep through the night. Just now is not one of those times. Here's to hoping for a restful night tonight.

Family Ties

There's something almost magical about having family around. Jeff and I had his parents visit us this weekend for Jeff's birthday. Grandma and Grandpa got to spend tons of time playing and rocking Savannah now that shes getting to the age where shes more fun. When family is around you really don't care if your house is clean or whats going on in the rest of the world. You want to enjoy every minute that your with the ones you love. Jeff had a wonderful birthday. He does every year though. Last year we went to Green Bay and ate at the Melting Pot. This year he celebrated his 25th birthday by going out to eat at a family owned BBQ place of his choice. He went shopping at the stores that he wanted to go to aka Fleet Farm :) We then went to a winery in Rochester and got to taste test wines. Not my favorite thing to do but he enjoys doing it.

We of course tried to hand out Halloween candy this year and not very many people showed up. I was a little disappointed but hey more candy for me!!! Good thing I've been eating it for the past 3 weeks.

Now it's off to catch up on all the things that got put to the wayside while we spent a lovely fall weekend with family. By the way Savannah is laying on the floor sleeping as I write. I think Grandma and Grandpa wore her out a little this weekend.