New Adventures Ahead

In approximately 3 months (give or take) our lives will drastically change. We will not be living in Minnesota anymore. We won't be close to family. It will be just the three of us. Many family members have asked how I feel about the move seeing that I have never lived farther than 2 hours away from family. I think it will be a good change. It's not like we will never be coming back to the life that I've always known. It will really strengthen our marriage and family bonds because we only have each other to lean on.

Jeff will be transferring into Food Service Sales. Me being the wife, a.k.a cheerleader, wants nothing more than to make my husband happy. He wants to feel challenged and doing something that he's passionate about. Quality Control is a job that he can do and can do well. It's not his passion in life. He wants to sell Hormel to people and let people fall in love with the company. I really think that he feels that he is merely just fixing peoples mistakes all day long. It's been a great job for him and he has really gotten to know Hormel as a company so thoroughly that he wants to share that knowledge with other people.

I am not attached to my home in the least bit. When we moved here I knew that it was only a temporary move. When I'm painting or fixing something up nice I just tell myself some person is really going to enjoy this I hope. We will most likely have to downsize for about 6 months and store or sell some of our furniture. I know that the sacrifices we make right now will pay off in the long run. It's all just stuff anyways. I will keep you updated about where we will be moving to. We have been told of 4 potential spots but they haven't narrowed it down to one yet. It's going to be Atlanta, Chicago, Denver, or Seattle. Jeff and I are secretly hoping for Denver but we shall see. Denver will bring back the personalities that we once had. The love for outdoors that we have been missing so much since living in southern MN. Dad's secretly hoping for Denver too. He said he's planning his vacation.

Bittersweet

Tomorrow will be my last day with having 2 kids in the house. I have been babysitting Liam, who is one, for the past 2 1/2 months. It was only on a temporary basis because starting November 1st he goes to daycare. Before Liam came along I really thought that I would be able to handle two children. I love having kids around and love all the chaos of life. I dream of having a big family. Although I went to college, that always seemed like a backup plan for me. I'm so fortunate to have a husband with a good job and understands the importance of having a parent at home with Savannah.

I believe God had a reason for sending me Liam. He taught me that I'm not ready for two children yet. I really enjoy spending time with my daughter and do not want to deprive her of her deserved attention. By the time Liam goes home for the day I'm exhausted. He is such a joy to have in our household. Savannah loves playing with him and feeling his hair. (someday she will grow more hair) They love talking back and forth to each other. It's so precious. But I know that going through colic and trying to establish a routine again with a newborn is something I'm not ready to take up. Savannah is a very happy baby now. Well not right now as she is teething and suffering from a pretty good case of diaper rash due to her teething. But for the most part she is a happy baby. She sits up now and plays with her toys. While giving her a bath last night I realized she was even starting to sit up in the tub alone now. It will be time for daddy to give her baths and enjoy that bonding that I have enjoyed so thoroughly since giving birth.

Well sounds like naptime is over. Onto my next adventure. :)

Mmmmm Mmmmm

Lately I have really been working hard on getting Savannah to say the word momma. She's been going around lately with her lower lip tucked on her bottom gums and making a humming noise. I can only hope that this will someday soon turn into momma. We have also been working on our sitting up skills and rolling over. I get on the floor and try to show her how to roll over. You know the old "monkey see, monkey do" trick. So far with all this training all that I have to show for it is a daughter that likes to tease me. She rolls over her top half but the lower half just won't follow. I have a daughter that looks like a weeble instead of sitting up and someone who just mmmm's. I know that someday it will all click but as of right now were still working on it.

Leaves

Yesterday we took Savannah outside to take pictures. I think it took more time to scoop leaves out of her mouth than to take the pictures. Jeff kept saying "the suns going to go down, hurry up." My response was "but shes got leaves in her mouth". All in all it was a fun time taking pictures. We had to take them yesterday because we got her knitted winter hat in the mail. I had found a hat that I liked on Etsy.com but just couldn't pull myself to spend $25 plus shipping on it. I knew that Jeff's mom knitted so I forwarded her the picture and let her try to make something similar. Taadaa!!! I love the hat. Its nice and fluffy and warm. AND it didn't cost $30.

Now all I need is the mittens to match. That's Grandma's next attempt :)

Maybe she's a fish

It never ceases to amaze me that whenever Savannah is in a crabby mood all I have to do it take her in the bathroom and lay her on the floor. You would think that she just won the lottery. She's singing praises to me and squealing with delight. She's kicking like crazy and can hardly hold in her enthusiasm. The water gets turned on and her eyes begin to get bigger as I take off her onesie. Oh she smiles with delight, its just what I was hoping for.

This is in fact the only way we made it through colic. We knew when she was about to get her fussy time and would remember to get all the bath stuff ready. It was our only saving grace. I wasn't about to drive around for hours waiting for her to calm down. Bathtub seemed to work.

She gets in the tub and her excitement is finally unleashed as she splashes around for 15 minutes. After each big splash she looks at me for what my reaction will be. The bigger my reaction the bigger she was attempt to splash the next time. I don't know how I'm going to get her out of the tub when she is finally able to talk. Swimming may be in her future. :)

Road Trip

Jeff just called to inform me that he got the whole week of Thanksgiving off. Finally his 70-80 work weeks for the past month are starting to pay off. Someone I believe is seeing our sacrifice and knowing that we need family time together desperately. Savannah will be 6 1/2 months old by then so I'm sure that she will do spectacular on this road trip of ours.

Right when he told me about it, I started thinking about all the times I would need to pack. This is when my over organizational skills want to take charge. Most of the time I put them aside and deal with the everyday demands of life instead. I am truly an organizational freak at heart but just don't always have the time to do it. You know that commercial with the post-it labels, I glow from ear to ear when I see that commercial. I love the idea of totes all stacked neatly with everything labeled. That way when Jeff asks me where something is, I can proudly tell him EXACTLY where it is. I also love the idea of baskets that contain everything neatly on the shelf. This is why I just love watching HGTV when they stage houses. I love the idea of a house that doesn't look lived in. Hopefully I will get over that fantasy when I have more kids and more demands in life.

Anyways I start thinking about the pack n' play, all the outfits that Savannah will need, and how we are going to have one full car. And that's just for her! I thought about how much laundry I will have to do the days leading up to it and how much laundry I will have once we come back. Then I smiled thinking 'I'm sure glad that I don't have a job.' We have this ability to just travel without worrying if I will be able to get off too. Or the amount of time it would take me to complete the enormous pile of laundry that will accumulate after a week and a half gone. Can you tell I'm a little excited about a much needed family roadtrip!!!!!

Finding meaning

I have really struggled with trying to find something special about myself since I lost my job. I always had something in my life that defined who I was. I had friends through high school that really helped me get through a not so normal teenage life. I went to college and became so busy with keeping up with school and 2 jobs and a social life that I never had time to really "think" about things. My last semester of college I was very busy planning a wedding and graduation that I was on my little high in life. I got married and soon after that the high started to wear off. Reality set in. I was no longer this independent young woman. I was tied down in a small town with no job. It brought new meaning to the phrase "ball and chain." I settled into desperation to find a job. Jeff and I fought all the time. It was the time when we were learning to live with each other. It was ridiculous things we fought about such as "why must you drink so loudly?" "those clothes are no where near the clothes basket" "do you have to leave the toilet seat up EVERYTIME!" Such stupid things you fight about when you first get married.

I finally found a job that was only minutes from the house. I was ecstatic to say the least. I finally found my dream job. I was for the first time salaried!!! I didn't know what I wanted to do with my first paycheck. I wanted to do something big because I worked hard and was paid well for my accomplishments. We decided on buying our dream car. I wanted a trailblazer and Jeff wanted a Subaru. We compromised on a Subaru Tribeca. I was so proud to be driving this new car. No more college car days. I was a real adult, with a real job. 5 months later that dream came to a screeching halt. Before I left work on Monday my boss had asked if I had time to meet with her in the morning. The way she said it just made my stomach drop. For some reason we just know when something bad is going to happen. Jeff and I went to meet with our builder because we were planning on building a house. Since my dad works for a lumber company we were going to get some great deals. I expressed to Jeff how worried I was about Tuesday morning. I tossed and turned all night. Then it happened. I walked into her office and there sat not only her but her boss. I was thinking in my head what could have I done. I have kept things confidential, I have done my job to the highest of my ability. I can't be in trouble I kept thinking. Or am I. They went on to say that I had done a fantastic job but that they had some budget cuts which meant my job was cut. My world just crashed all around me. I had to call Jeff up and tell him that we won't be able to build our house anymore because I didn't have my job anymore. Even writing this still brings tears to my eyes. In just 5 months, I went from being on top of the world to feeling like I had let our relationship down.

I had a hard time getting out of bed each morning. I kept thinking of the things that I would be doing if I were working. I kept thinking about all the things that I had left half finished and all the relationships that just abruptly stopped. I was not allowed to send out a letter or even contact them to have closer. It's still awkward to walk around Austin and see people. They all have their opinions of me. I worked so hard to build this trust up with them. It's like living with an ex-husband. Just so awkward.

I finally got used to being at home and doing things around the house instead. My new label was homemaker. Didn't think after 6 years of college that that would ever be my label. Now I have a new label. I feel now as though thats all I am. I know this is my purpose in life right now and am content with raising my daughter and taking care of my husband. I feel as though there is nothing special about me. I wear jeans and a t-shirt most days. I clean up spit up and change diapers. I somehow suppose to be in this loving dovy mode when Jeff comes home but its so hard to muster the strength. I wish I had something that would make me feel special again. I don't think that I want a job right now because I love being able to watch Savannah grow up. I don't want to miss out on all her firsts. How do stay at home moms keep themselves from feeling this way? I am still on the venture to figure this one out.