Center Stage

I had my postpartum check up last week already. The time just flew by and I was out of the office with flying colors. It was bittersweet walking out of that office for the last time. I know that I won't be back there for my yearly check up as I know we will be moving long before then. It will probably be one of the last times I will see the office ladies and my doctor again. I don't plan on getting pregnant before we move either. I know accidents happen but I said that I'm not "planning" on it. I think 2 is plenty right now until Carson is sleeping through the night. He's definitely a much better baby than Savannah was but she had colic AND acid reflux. Poor little thing. If only I would have realized it sooner and done something about it. It was really hard to walk out of the doctors office from my postpartum this time because it was such a small office. You felt like they really got to know you. I would just walk in the door and wouldn't even have to tell them my name or any other information. It becomes part of your routine for 8 months. Now my routine involves pediatrician visits monthly for a little while. Carson next month then Savannah's 2 year then back for Carson's 4 month, etc. We will become regulars there.

I have begun to notice that I am quite the spectical when I go out in public. I am not one to draw attention to myself but now with 2 kids people can't help watching how I handle 2 so small out in public. I felt judged as a college student was pushing in carts are Target and Savannah dashes away from me only for me to have to chase after her. I felt like turning to him and saying "just you wait until it's your turn to have kids." Instead I smiled and pushed my cart with Savannah throwing a fit in the front and Carson sleeping away in the basket portion. I hardly even attempt to soothe Carson as we shop because people stare no matter if I attempt to stick the pacifier in his mouth or just begin to speed shop. I can't leave the house without hearing the following comments:
- oh he's a fresh one/new one
-how far apart are they
-oh you have 2
-you sure are a busy mom
- you certainly have your hands full

I am not one to draw attention to myself. Actually I dislike it so much. I am more of a person that just likes to blend in with the background and be a back up singer. Somehow that calling is not doing me justice right now as people seek my out to catch a glimpse of the baby or watch me handle both of them. At times I feel like I'm the only one with a child that ever misbehaves. For now I'm in the spotlight and will just learn to deal with it until I can blend in once again.