In my pre-baby mind I had all these preconceived notions on how life was going to go. I think every woman for that matter has these preconceived notions. Whether its about the guy your going to marry, the type of wife your going to be, or how your marriage is supposed to go. Before baby I imagined my life filled with a baby that awoke happy and rarely cried. I was going to be the perfect mom and do EVERYTHING by the books. My baby was going to spend very little time watching tv and I was going to sit on the floor so I could play with her everyday. Truth is reality hits.
That crib bumper that you are not suppose to put in her crib has just saved me from rocking a crying baby that has just hit her head against the railing for the 2nd time at 3am. Oh I tried to go without it but after the second night of waking up, I gave up and Savannah got her way. Savannah was not going to watch very much tv. She's watching Raffi in concert so mommy can pay some bills online and catch up on the happenings of life without a little one grabbing the screen and wanting to bang on the keys. As I watched other moms with their children and thought to myself I am never going to do that when I have my own kids. Turns out I'm just like them...as Savannah throws a temper tantrum in Target. I was going to keep a super clean house. Laundry would always be folded and dishes would always be done. First let me get some caffeine and see how far I get. Dishes are in the dishwasher. Good enough for me. Now onto that laundry. Oh Savannah is coming to "help" unfold the clothes I just spent 15 minutes folding. Go upstairs to put all the clothes away only to discover that all my dresser drawers were empty and all my clothes are sprawled across the floor. Must find ibuprofen!
I wasn't going to offer any baby advice because that really annoyed me when I would get baby advice. I can't help but tell a story every now and then. I just can't stop the words from coming out of my mouth because for once I can relate to something someone is talking about at the dinner table when we are out and about. I sit and listen to all the stories people tell about doing spontaneous things or their work life. I will quietly admire all their stories with nothing to add to the conversation. As soon as I come in contact with someone I know that is having a baby, I can't stop the words from flowing! Before baby, I thought that I would have no problem going back to work. Honestly there are still days when I think about it. Then I go to mommy bible study and try to bribe Savannah into the church nursery as she's screaming with her arms held out for me. Ok maybe work isn't such a great way to go. Plus I don't know who would do the laundry or make the meals if I worked. Not working makes it hard to make that student loan payment every month for a degree that I worked so hard to get. Nevertheless, it gets paid and I continue to indulge in motherhood at home. I should count my blessings. So many people would love the opportunity to stay at home with their children but I am also just a normal person that way too. The grass is always greener on the other side.
To conclude, I have realized that books don't always tell you everything that is going to work for your children or your life. You have to figure out what works best for you. What is going to keep your sanity at the end of the day. People can offer you all the advice in the world. I still probably won't be able to resist telling my crazy baby stories or sharing my experiences but I guess that just makes me normal.
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